


Different Directions

by listentotheink



Category: One Direction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 05:39:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/listentotheink/pseuds/listentotheink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's about this girl who was friends with Liam and he treats her like crap and leaves. Then her mother gets a job at the XFactor house and she falls in love with Louis while Liam stands by, disgustingly in love with the other girl, even though he has a funny way  to show it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different Directions

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before I began to ship Larry. It is the first and last straight fanfiction I have written when it comes to One Direction, so yeah. 
> 
> It's awful, and kind of stupid... so. If you want to click the 'x' that's fine. I'm just posting it here so I have a back up copy.

Chapter One

“I’m broken, do you hear me? I’m blinded, cause you are everything I see…”

 

We were best friends.

He grew up in the house next door to me in Wolverhampton, and our mothers were friends so we saw each other at least once a day, every day, for as long as I can remember. Our mothers would get together for afternoon tea, and Liam and I would go up to my room (or his, depending on the day) and we would play silly made up games that had ruled we would figure out as we went along.

A rock hit my window.

I got out of my bed, knowing exactly who was going to be standing below it. He was the last person I wanted to see, but there he was, just like I knew he would be. He looked so handsome in his white knit hooded sweater that my heart jumped as I threw open my window and returned to my bed, burying myself under the covers after I saw a quick flash of a smile on his face. I pulled my covers over my head just as he slid through my window. He had been climbing the trellis and sliding through the wide window since we were fourteen, so over the past two years he had gotten really good at it.

“Still mad at me, eh?” he asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. I turned away as he kicked off his shoes. “I guess that’s a yes.”

He stretched out on my bed and I heard him sigh as he folded his arms under his head. I wrapped my arms around myself.

“You’re really mad at me for auditioning again?” he asked quietly. “You’re mad at me for following my dreams? Seriously, Tricia? Then I guess you’re not as good of a friend as I —”

I sat up and slapped him. Hard. He leaned away from me with a look of pure shock on his face, and his eyes watering in pain.

“What was that for?!” he shouted. I got out of my bed, thankful that my mother had gone to a friend’s house for the night, and I slammed my fist against my wall. My pictures rattled. Tears streaked down my face for a moment, and I turned to face him.

“Don’t you _dare_ accuse me of being mad at you for following your dreams, Liam James Payne. Don’t you _dare.”_

“Then why are you so mad at me?” he asked, looking away from me. He hated when I was crying, and he especially hated it when he knew that he was the reason behind my tears.

“You never even thought about me.” I said to him. “About how it’s going to affect me. You kept me in the dark about this decision. Last time, you at least talked to me and explained what it was going to entail. I remembered most of it, but you could’ve still talked to me first. But no. You decided to tell me the day before you leave! You’re going to have to go to Wembly for a long time, and I’m going to need you. You’re my best friend, Liam. And that’s why I’m upset. You didn’t even talk to me first.”

“I didn’t expect you to go all ‘girlfriend’ on me! I thought you would want me to audition!”

“I do!” I shouted. He stood, and took few steps toward me.

“Then why are you so fucking angry with me?!”

“I’m fucking scared of losing you, you idiot!” I said, and then I collapsed to the floor in a fit of sobs.  If you haven’t figured it out, I am in love with Liam. I have been for three years. It was everything about him that made me fall. And even though when I first realized it I was only thirteen, I knew that what I was feeling for him was definitely more than just a crush. I had been hiding my feelings for three years, and now it was time for him to know. “I’m in love with you, Liam.”

He took a moment to process what I had just said, and then he sat down next to me, pulling me into his arms. I started crying into his shoulder.

“What?” he asked me softly, in a tone that was almost a whisper.

“I love you.” I said, still crying. “I’ve loved you for three years. I just never had the nerve to tell you.”

And when he leaned in to kiss me, I kissed him back, tangling my hands into his soft, brown locks of hair. Nothing needed to be said after that.

 

He took my virginity that night. Well, he didn’t take it because I willingly gave it to him. I woke up with my clothes folded neatly on the end of my bed with the sweater he had been wearing folded on top of the pile. There was a note next to it and the condom wrapper was sitting on top of a stack of books on my nightstand.

I sat up, keeping a blanket around me, and grabbed the note. It was folded into a little heart with my name on the front. I unfolded it carefully, taking care not to rip it.

 

_Tricia,_

_Sorry I left you. My mum called and said that I had to go so we could get to Wembly Arena in time for the audition. I didn’t want to wake you._

_Last night… I’m sorry for the way that I yelled at you. It wasn’t fair of me to do that. But, other than that it was amazing, and I’m never going to forget it. For now, I need time to think. I do love you, in the same way that you love me. I think I proved that. But everything is just happening so fast right now. I just need times._

_I’ll call you soon._

_Liam_.

 

I crushed the note in my hand, and pulled my pillow to my chest. It still smelled like his hair.

Tears stung my eyes for the second time in less than twenty four hours. I curled back up into my blankets and willed myself to stop crying, and begged my heart to stop hurting, hoping that the pain would go away. Tears streaked down my cheeks. He was gone and I didn’t know when he was going to see him again.

Seeing his X-factor audition on television about two weeks later made my heart twinge with pain again. Mum made me watch it, and she even made her own special popcorn with parsley and butter and pepper. Even though seeing him was painful, hearing his voice took the edge of it away. He hadn’t called me yet, but I was still keeping the faith that he would. It was understandable, why he wouldn’t call. But I just wanted to know if things between the two of us were okay. I knew it would be awkward, but his silence was worse than his departure. It was like he completely disappeared and that was so much worse.

“He was great!” my mum said, smiling and wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “Wasn’t he great?”

“Yeah.” I said as a boy named Louis Tomlinson took the stage. My mother loved Liam like he was her own son, and she was sure that he and I were going to get married someday. So I knew why she was so excited for him. “He was really great.”

She got off the couch and within five minutes I heard her on the phone with Liam’s mum, telling her how great he was. He had sung “Cry Me a River” by Michael Buble, and at that moment I realized why he had sung it to me about thirty five times. When I heard mum say that he was great for about the fifteenth time, I decided that I should probably call Liam and tell him the same. I took my phone out of my pocket, pressing 1. He was on my speed dial.

The phone rang three times, and then it went to voice mail. I assumed that he was at a meeting or something like that, so I just left a message.

“Hey Liam, it’s Tricia. Remember me?” I asked into the phone. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that mum and I watched your audition for the X-Factor and you were great. I could listen to you sing that song all day long. Anyway… yeah… bye.”

 

Chapter Two:

“I tried to sever ties, and I ended up with wounds to bind, like you’re pouring salt in my cuts ..”

 

It was about a month and a half later and I was cutting up some bacon for a casserole that my mother was making for a party she was catering. She had had her own business for about ten years. She had started it as soon as my father had left us, and I knew that she loved cooking, and now she always came home from work smiling because of that. She was standing next to me, dipping strawberries in either milk, dark or white chocolate. I knew that later that evening I was going to be drizzling chocolate over them, depending on what she wanted. She would divide them into three separate spots on the counter and then I would drizzle them.

She was humming along to a song I didn’t recognize so she could’ve been just making it up. She did that a lot when we were cooking together. I finished cutting the bacon and threw it into a pan so it could fry up when the phone started to ring. I looked at my mother and she nodded, excusing me to go to my room as she picked up the phone.

I ran up the stairs and into my room, picking my journal up off of a stack of Harry Potter books. I had been reading them again, for the twelfth time. I swear that those books kept me sane, but my journal kept me thinking of Liam. Today was particularly painful, because he used to help me with the strawberries, and it stirred up happy memories. Those were the most painful.

Simon Cowell had thrown Liam into a group with four other boys named Louis, Harry, Zayn and Niall. It was the week before the actual competition began, and they had been to the judge’s houses this past week. Liam’s mum kept me updated, since he still wasn’t talking to me. She didn’t have any idea of that though. My mum also told me, and I wrote it down in my journal. The pages were full of Liam and how he was doing. Writing it down helped take the pain away.

He still hadn’t called.

I sat on my bed and pulled the covers around me. Mum had had me working for twelve hours on things for her party, and my feet ached from being on them all day. It felt so nice to finally be able to sit down.

I turned to the most worn, tear stained page in my journal and looked at the bright red condom wrapper taped there. It was the page where I had written about that night. I wrote down everything I could remember as soon as I had stopped crying. I wrote about how good his lips felt on my skin as they attacked my neck with kisses, and how warm his skin was against mine, and how it had hurt so badly at first, but he kissed away my tears of pain and told me how sorry he was for hurting me. And how the night was filled with whispered promises of love and how it was hurting him just as badly to leave me as it was me, and how it was all over too quickly.

A tear slipped down my cheek as they often did when I read that page. The words took me back to that night, and I stood up, walked to my closet, and put his sweater on. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my journal just as my mother walked into my room.

“You miss him, don’t you?” she asked. I nodded and breathed in his scent that was just barely lingering there, but holding on valiantly, as if it knew I needed that subtle comfort. She sighed and then smiled. “What if I told you you’re going to be seeing him very, very soon?”

My jaw dropped. “What? Why?” 

“I just got a call from the producers of X Factor.” She said, he smile turning into a full grin. “One of their chefs isn’t able to make it there, and apparently Liam told them about me. They offered me a job and I accepted.”

I jumped out of my bed and we both jumped around my bed excitedly, hugging each other. This was a huge opportunity for my mother. She was going to be a personal chef, which would validate how great her recipes were to others.

“So, what exactly do we do?” I asked. “And you’re sure I can come?”

“We move into the contestant’s house tomorrow night, and yes. I asked if you could come because you’re an important part of my team so start packing!”

 

I only had about five boxes of things that I was taking from my room. Most of the space was taken up by books and clothes, but there were a few photographs and things that I had stuffed in a box and labeled “miscellaneous”. There were only a few things that I left unpacked, like Liam’s sweater, my journal and two books. I wasn’t going to return the sweater, I hadn’t planned too. I was just a little nippy outside and I wanted to wear it.

“Tricia?” my mum asked. “Time to go.” We had packed up the car already, so now all we had to do was go. I stood and put Liam’s sweater on, shouldering my backpack that I had put the books and my iPod in. It was four hours from here to the contestant’s house.

I followed my mum out of my room, only stopping to flick my lights off, then we went down the stairs and to our car. I got in the passenger’s side, and turned to a new page in my journal.

 

_Journal,_

_Well we’ve done it. We’ve packed up our car and we’re headed up off to London. I told you about mum’s job at the_ X Factor _already. But I haven’t told you what’s on my mind, or how I’ve been feeling the past few days, so here it goes._

_What’s been on my mind lately is Liam, shocker there, right? I’m so scared to see him again, I’m so scared. Not because it’s him, but because I’m scared of his reaction to seeing me again. I’m sure he didn’t think about me when he told Simon about my mother. I’m sure he hasn’t even thought of me once since that night. According to his mother, he already has someone he’s trying to chase after. Her name is Danielle I think, and she’s a dancer on the show. I’m glad he made time for his mum and mine but can’t even find a second to say hello to me. That’s all I need. A simple hi would do. I have tried. I’ve sent him text messages countless times. He never responds._

_I just hope it isn’t too awkward when we see each other again. I don’t like the idea of having “morning after awkwardness” two months later. But I think it will be, at least at first. For more reasons than just that, though. It’s going to be his fault, too. He’s the one who hasn’t made the effort._

_I see a fight coming our way, even though he’s probably just going to try to avoid me at all costs. That can only last for so long when we’re under the same roof, though._

_Other than that, I’m excited to see what this has in store for my mum and me, and I’m excited to meet the other boys in the group Liam is in as well. His mother said that they are lovely boys, but I’ll be the judge of that._

_x Tricia._

 

I flipped the journal closed and closed my eyes.

“Excited?” my mother asked. Her voice was happy, and I smiled. “I’m sure that Liam will be surprised to see you.”

“I don’t know about that.” I muttered, playing with the strings on the sweater. “We didn’t exactly part ways on the best terms. It’ll be awkward at best when we  see each other again.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked me, puzzled.

“Promise you won’t get mad.” I said. She took a moment, and then she nodded. “The night before he left, when you went out to Jenny’s and didn’t come home until the next morning, he came over. And the two of us sort of…did it.”

“So, what you’re trying to tell me is that the two of you lost your virginities to each other.” Her grip on the steering wheel tightened momentarily, then it loosened again. “Okay, continue.”

“Before that, I told him that I’ve been in love with him for three years, which you already know, and that I was scared of losing him…anyway, the next morning, after having told me he loved me too, I woke up and he was gone. I’ve made an effort to talk to him. I’ve called and texted him. He never replies. So, like I said, it’s going to be awkward at best.”

 

_Chapter Three:_

_“Playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy. And I was enchanted to meet you…”_

 

We pulled up to the enormous house, and the first thing I saw were four teenaged guys running out the door to help us unload our car. One was tall with dark curly hair that flipped out to the side. He was wearing dark black jeans with a black blazer and a red scarf and he had a white t-shirt on underneath all of that. Another was darker skinned with spiked hair and his ears were pierced. He was wearing a varsity jacket and jeans. Another was blonde and of medium height, wearing a red polo shirt and jeans, and the fourth was tall. He had shaggy dark brown hair, and was wearing a white t-shirt with stripes and red pants. 

The only other thing that registered about them, was the fact that they were all extremely attractive. And none of them were Liam, but that’s a different matter.

“We’re here to help you.” The tall one with the flippy hair said with a smile. He had a soft face with dimples that came out with the smile on his face. “I’m Harry, by the way. And this is Zayn” –he pointed to the one wearing the varsity jacket—“Niall”—he pointed to the blonde—“and Louis.” He pointed to the one in the striped shirt, who sent a cheeky smile my way. I felt my face heat up a little and I looked away quickly.

“I’m Tricia.” I said with a smile, focusing my attention on anything but Louis. He was still grinning at me. To distract myself, I handed Harry a box. “That’s my mum, Heather. I’m not quite sure what she wants people to call her yet.”

“What the bloody hell is in this box?” Harry asked, sagging under the weight of the box.

“Probably clothes.” Louis said with a laugh, taking another box. “This box is particularly light, though. Probably books.”

I smiled at him and shook my head. “You’ve got it mixed up.” I said. “The box you have, Louis is clothes. The box that Harry has is books.”

“So you like to read?” Zayn asked, taking another box. I nodded.

“The box that Harry has are books that I haven’t read. I’m sure that there’s thirty or forty in there. Do you read?”

“Let’s just say, if I weren’t here right now I would be at University, studying for a degree in English.”

“Zayn is the intelligent one.” Louis butted in. He adjusted his box and then he walked back to the house. I grabbed a box of my own and followed them in. The blonde, Niall walked with me and asked me questions about myself, and through our small conversation, I found out that he loved food, and was from Ireland.  All of their names and personalities were familiar to me, due to what Liam’s mum had said. It took me a moment, but then I knew that they were the boys in the group with Liam.

When we reached the floor of the house that I was staying on, Niall, Zayn, Harry and set the boxes that they were carrying down on my bed, and then they left the room so they could go and help my mother with her things, but Louis held back. My room was simple, but it was more than enough, really. I had a very large bed pushed against a cream colored wall, with navy blue blankets that were made of some sort of silky material, a bookshelf with a flat screen TV already in place with a DVD player and a stereo. There was also a dresser and a night stand. Like I said, simple, but nice and classy.

“Do you need any help?” Louis asked as I opened up a box of clothes. I picked a shirt up out of the box, hoping that there was someone there to help me with my laundry. I flicked my eyes over to my box of books.

“How good are you at alphabetizing?” I asked him with a grin.

 

After an hour, my bookshelf was stocked and Louis was laying on my bed, watching me tape up photographs. The room was starting to look lived in, and I was happy. I was getting more and more comfortable with every second and it kept feeling more like my room at home.

“You could help.” I said as Louis began to hum the Iron Man theme song. He adjusted so his arms were under his head.

“I could.” He said, nodding. “But that means I will have to move, and I don’t really want to use that much energy. It’s too much.”

“No one deserves a nap more than I do, Louis.” I said, throwing a pillow I had found in a box at him. He laughed when it hit him in the face and put it down on my bed.

“Really? And why is that?”

“I drove four hours to get here, unpacked and met this crazy boy named Louis who didn’t help me at all.”

“That’s nothing compared to my day, love.” He said with a grin, his blue eyes sparkled.

“Elaborate.” I said, taping up a picture of me and my mum.

“Six a.m.” He started. “Wake up call, and breakfast with the boys. Six forty five, drive to the studio. Seven fifteen, meeting with Uncle Simon for a song choice. After a very long and heated debate full of Liam accidentally spitting in my face, Harry stepping on my foot three times, Zayn accidentally hitting me in the face with his elbow and Niall looking clueless, Simon finally says that ‘we have no say in the song selection’ and settles it. As soon as that meeting is over at nine a.m. we go through an hour of our first rehearsal in which we learn very difficult harmonies. At ten, we have a meeting with our stylist, Leslie—who Zayn happens to be hot for—and she decides on two looks to approve with us and Uncle Simon. At eleven we come back here and eat lunch in which Niall spends the majority of the time drooling over Taiylor, another contestant. Unfortunately, lunch wasn’t as good today as it usually is because they are short staff. After lunch, the boys and I get two hours of ‘bonding’ because we don’t know each other all that well yet. Niall mostly farts and eats more during that time, while Liam plays his guitar –”

Typical.

“ – two p.m. we go back to the studio for more rehearsal and we begin to work on choreography. After three hours of dancing—that is horrendous, may I add—we come back here and eat diner, then we get the news that the new chef/cook thing has a seventeen year old daughter who will be living here too and the boys and I immediately agree to help you move in. Mostly because we want to see if you are attractive or not and get to know you before everyone else does. Then I find out that the daughter is a cheeky thing who is very pretty and I instantly like her. But she makes me alphabetize her extensive book collection by author and date published. Then the daughter gets mad at me for not wanting to exert any more energy. I think I win, love.”

“You like me?” I asked him. His eyes widened.

“After that whole speech about my day, the only thing that you heard was ‘I like her’? Women.”

“So that’s why you were so eager to help me!” I said with a grin.

“I admit, I did want to talk with you while the others helped your mum and then went off to chase their respective women.” He said. Then he stands and pulls a book off my shelf. The book he chose was a good one. “Meltdown” by Ben Elton. It was one of my favorites.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to exert your energy.” I said snidely. He laughed.

“I didn’t but this caught my eye.” He said. “Can I borrow it?”

“Sure, if you give it back. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Loueh!” a voice says from the hallway outside my room. “Loueh!” the owner of the voice walks in and it’s Zayn. “There you are. We’ve been looking everywhere for you—woah.”

He stopped talking and stared at my collection of books. I’m not really surprised. My book collection is an English nerd’s dream. I have every author from Jane Austen to Émile Zola. The Harry Potter books were definitely my favorites though.

“Your books are impressive.” He noted, running his fingers along the spine of one. I smiled.

“A lot of people have told me that.” I said with a laugh. “Which is your favorite?”

“Harry Potter.” He said without hesitation. “But we will have to have that discussion some other time. Loueh, Harry wants to work on the song for a bit, and Liam is going through a crisis. Something about Danielle, I think.”

My heart sank. Danielle. I hadn’t even finished unpacking and she was already being mentioned. This wasn’t going to be as fun as I thought it was.

“Where is the nearest bathroom?” I asked, feeling my eyes burn.

“Down the hall and to the left. First door on the right.” Zayn said. “Are you alright? You look like you’re going to start crying.”

I nodded my head quickly, confused as to how he would know that I felt tears coming on, and then I walked out of the room, taking a left and running into someone. He was only a few inches taller than me, and I looked up to apologize. I was met with a pair of warm, bright, brown eyes that I would know anywhere.

It was Liam.

 

_Chapter Four:_

_“Chest to chest, nose to nose, palm to palm, we were always just that close…”_

 

When he got a good look at me and realized who I was, he turned around and walked back from the way he came. I was hoping for at least a hello before he turned around and ran away. I turned around, and walked back to my room where Zayn and Louis were both sitting on my bed and joking with each other. They looked up when they heard my door slam, and the first tear fell. Zayn rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug.

“Louis, text Harry and tell him that rehearsal will have to wait.” He said as his hand ran up and down my back softly. I cried into his chest.

“I’m sorry.” I nodded, hiding my face in his chest.

“I’ve got three sisters.” He said. So that was how he knew I was going to cry. “You don’t need to apologize. What’s wrong?”

He guided me over to my bed and I sat down next to Louis, who immediately wrapped his arms around me. I hid my face in his shoulder, and Zayn sat on my other side.

“This isn’t something you tell someone you’ve known for less than a day.” I said, wiping my eyes.

“You can tell us.” Louis said. “We aren’t going to judge you or say anything. What happens in this room stays in this room.”

I nodded.

“So come on, love. Tell us.” Zayn said. I covered my eyes.

“I am in love with Liam Payne.” I said softly.

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked.

“I mean I am in love with him.”

“You haven’t even met him.” Louis said. “How can you be in love with him?”

“Has anyone even bothered to tell you anything about my mom and I?” I asked with a dry laugh.

“Not really.” Zayn said. His voice was sexy and smooth. I couldn’t wait to hear him sing. He was the opposite of Louis, who was crazy and who’s voice was a little higher and slightly choppy. They were both amazing.

“Well, then you are going to hear quite a large portion of my life story right now.” I said, and then I told them everything. I told them everything about Liam and I that led up to that day, except for the part about losing my virginity to him. That didn’t seem like something that needed to be shared. They let me continue without interruptions, which was nice, and when I finally stopped talking they took a moment to take in everything I said.

“I know you won’t take my side. Liam is your friend. You barely know me.” I said. “But I just thought if I was going to tell you, I should tell you everything.” 

“I don’t take sides.” Zayn said as Louis nodded in agreement. “Your story makes it impossible, even if I did take sides.”

“It’ll work out.” Louis said. “But right now our goal is to make Liam talk to you.”

“Yeah, like that will happen.” I said. “He’s too busy with Danielle.”

Louis grinned. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about her.”

Zayn and Louis exchanged a look, and then Zayn grinned. “Yeah, we’ll take care of her. But right now, we really need to go. Harry is probably having a conniption.” 

“Agreed.” Louis said.

They stood up and I walked them to the door. “Thanks, guys.” I said with a weak smile. “Don’t forget to come by and talk books with me, Zayn. And Louis… you can come talk with me anytime. You both can, really. Just knock.”

He smiled and I felt my stomach knot up a little bit. He was very attractive, and he had a nice smile and a great personality and I was beginning to have a little bit of a crush on him, even though I had only known him for a few hours. There was something about him that I couldn’t quite put a finger on.

I went to the X Factor house without any expectations from Liam, and that meant if he was allowed to go for someone else, then I was too. 

And I had my eye on Louis Tomlinson.

 

“Tricia, wake up.” My mum’s voice said to me. She shook my shoulder. “We have to go help prepare the breakfast.” I looked at my clock. It was five fifteen.

“But mum—” I started to protest. She cut across me.

“You have to help me, because you’re a part of my team and I need you.”

I nodded and got up, finding the uniform that I had been given the day before and slipping it over my head. We had to cook for twenty or more competitors with carefully structured diets. Each meal was planned for them, with frequent input from my mum, and her ideas were also used often.

By the end of the week I had learned every competitor’s name and had even formed a friendship with Taiylor, the girl that Niall had eyes for. She was really nice and had a great voice. I watched her perform on the television. We weren’t allowed to attend the performances unless we were invited by a contestant. 

I also got my first glimpse of Danielle Peazer. She was stunning and it was easy to see why Liam would have eyes for her instead of me. The only thing I had on my side was our history.

The boys were great, too. I was a little sad that I didn’t get to hear Louis’ and Zayn’s voices as much as I would have liked, but Liam’s voice was just as smooth and beautiful as I remembered it.

 

It was Saturday night when the knock came. I thought that it would be Louis, because he was spending the majority of his free time in my room. He always came right after dinner and he stayed until he was so tired he was nearly asleep on my bed. I was falling for him, too.

Hard.

When I opened up my door, someone was shoved through it, and then it was slammed back shut.

“I’m going to murder all four of you in your sleep!” the person shouted, then he turned to face me and his eyes met mine. “Hello Tricia.”

 

 

 

 

 

_Chapter Five:_

_“with every strike of lightning comes a memory that lasts and not a word is left unspoken as the thunder starts to crash”_

 

“Well, this is awkward.” I said, noting that he was in his boxers. I let my eyes travel down his stomach to his well defined abs, taking care to notice how fit he was. I also took a moment to recall that the last time I had seen him like this, my view was a little bit different.

“The guys forced me here.” He said with a nervous laugh.

“I noticed.” I said, shrugging. “You never would have done this on your own.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest. I walked over to my closet and pulled off my uniform shirt and jeans. “Hey! Warn me before you strip, okay?”

“Like you haven’t seen it before.” I said, a bit more bitterly than I intended. I pulled a t-shirt on over my head while he watched me in silence. I felt his eyes on me the entire time, and it made me feel a little bit awkward as I slid my pyjama pants on over my legs. They were flannel, and provided me with instant warmth.

“Why?” I asked him, standing so my back was still turned to him.

“Why what?” he asked. I wheeled around.

“Don’t play stupid with me!” I shouted. “You know exactly what I’m talking about!”

“Calm down! You’ll wake the whole house!” he said back.

“You lost the right to tell me what to do when you left me the morning after you too my virginity you asshole!” I yelled at him. “You left me. You left me and you never called, never texted me to say hi. It was like you disappeared, Liam. It was worse than you just leaving, it was like you were dead. Why would you do this to me? ME! I know you better than anyone. You’re my best friend. I’m your best friend! I needed you! Why would you do that to me?!”

He pulled on his hair and buried his face in his hands.

“Why?!” I shouted again.

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you!” he shouted back. “It was stupid and wrong but I thought that disappearing and acting as if I never existed would help you!”

“Help me?! Didn’t you learn _anything_ from Twilight?!”

“I was a bit preoccupied with voicing how completely stupid the movies were.” He muttered.

“I needed you! I needed you to be there and tell me that everything was okay and that we were okay. I needed so much but you were gone. The _X Factor_ was the only way I knew you were alive and okay. What you did wasn’t fair to me. Surely you know that!”

“Sorry for thinking that I was doing the right thing!” he shouted, then he stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. I collapsed onto my bed, waiting for the tears to come, but they didn’t. So I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes.

Not five minutes later there was someone crawling into my bed next to me and wrapping his arms around me. I thought for a moment it was Liam, but when I turned into the person’s chest, I saw the tattoo and I knew that it was Zayn. I should have known that it was him before. He uses this unique brand of cologne, I forgot what it was called, but it was a scent unlike any that I had smelled before. He pulled me close, and then another person crawled into my bed on my other side. This time I knew who it was by the way he brushed my hair behind my ears. It was Louis.

“I’ll kick his ass tomorrow.” Zayn muttered, then I felt two more people join us, until there were five of us crammed into my tiny bed. Harry and Niall had come to my rescue, too, and I barely knew them. They were still there for me though, and I knew at that moment I had found four people I would have as best friends for the rest of my life.

After a few moments of Harry and Niall trying to fit on my bed, and a lot of laughter when they kept falling, they both decided to occupy the floor. They also insisted that I put in chick flicks and I asked my mum if I could have some ice cream and five spoons from the kitchen. She agreed, but made me promise to keep it quiet. By the end of Love Actually, The Notebook and A Walk to Remember, the five of us were all crying like babies. Well, not Niall. 

He had fallen asleep halfway through The Notebook.

“We should go sleep.” Harry said. “We have a very long day ahead of us tomorrow. Come on, guys.”

Harry stood and shook Niall awake. Niall grumbled about a dream for a moment, but then he saw the time and he stood, as well as Zayn. Louis was very reluctant to leave my side, but he stood up and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you.” I said to the four of them as they made their way to the door.

“You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“We’re here for you.” Harry said. “Liam is just being a dick. He’ll come around.”

I nodded and then they gave me quick hugs before they left, tiredly heading back to their room. Louis stayed behind for a moment and sat on my bed. He brushed hair out of my eyes gently, and kissed my forehead again.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked me quietly, taking my hand.

“I think so.” I said, shrugging. “I mean, I’m as good as I can be considering my former best friend is a dick. But I’ll get better, I guess.”

“It always gets better.” He said with a small smile. He stood and squeezed my hand gently, and then he made his way towards the door again.

“Stay.” I called to him softly. “I don’t want to be alone. Stay.”

A smiled made its way across his face, and he crawled back under my covers. I hadn’t really noticed that he wasn’t wearing a shirt either, until I saw how incredibly fit he was as well. His skin was so warm too. He pulled me close to him and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“I want you to come to the performance on Saturday.” He said. “I’ll get your credentials so you can come as my guest.”

“Really?” I asked. “You want me there?”

“Of course I do.” He said. “I’ll arrange everything, all you have to do is look pretty and show up.”

“Harry’s in the hospital” were the first words that I heard when I woke up the next morning. Mum had let me sleep, and I was grateful. But when Louis and Zayn came into my room panicking, I put my book away and tried to figure out was happening. Apparently he had had a nervous breakdown and they had taken him to the hospital to make sure that he was okay. He was, but it was still a bit scary for the boys. They had had to cancel their rehearsals for the day, and Harry’s girlfriend, Aimee, who was home in Cheshire had been on the phone with Louis all morning to make sure Harry was alright. She had been calling him every five minutes.

Niall had finally gotten up the nerve to ask out Taiylor, and she had said yes. So now they were competitors and a couple. Zayn had already stated that this change was going to make for a few interesting weeks because of the situation. But he was having romance problems of his own, and I was sure to be hearing about them.

But me? I was just excited to get to go to the studio and watch them perform live, even if that meant seeing Liam with Danielle. Tommo had invited me, and I was going there for him. My new best friend, and the one who was making my heart flutter.

 

_Chapter Six_

_“Sing me a song, tell me about the things that you’re dealing with lately.”_

 

That Saturday, I found a manila envelope slid under my door when I got back from doing lunch duty. It had my name on it and when I opened up the package, there was a note from Louis, written in his messy scrawl. I smiled and read through it quickly, then saw the lanyard with a card that read “One Direction, Louis Tomlinson” attached to the end. According to the note, I could use it at any or their remaining performances and the eliminations. I would just have to arrange things with mum so I could go to them.

After I put the packet on my bed, I went to take a shower and while the hot water streamed down onto my skin, I contemplated what I was going to wear. I hadn’t brought any dresses with me, but I had brought a denim skirt and a peach colored shirt. I was sure it wasn’t going to matter what I was wearing, Louis thought I was beautiful no matter what, but still. I needed to look presentable.

I never wore make up, so the only thing that I did when I got out of the shower was dry my hair so I could straighten it and actually make it look decent. I knew how excited Louis was that I was going to be there, so I wanted to make it special for him.

Just as I was digging into the depths of my closet to find my skirt, another note was pushed under my door, this time from Zayn. I picked it up and my eyes scanned it quickly.

 

Trish,

I need to talk with you after the performance.

Relationship stuff.

x Zayn

 

I knew that he would be waiting outside my door for a reply, so I found a pen and wrote “okay” on the note quickly, then slid it back under my door. I then returned to my closet and found the clothes I was looking for. I dressed quickly, noting the time, and then I walked down to the kitchen to find my mum. She was helping the staff make dinner, but when she saw me she smiled and stopped what she was doing to give me a hug.

“Have fun tonight, love.” she said, kissing my forehead. “And tell Tommo that I’m watching him. I think he fancies you.”

“I know he does.” I said with a smile. “He tries to hide it, but it doesn’t work very well.”

“What will you do?”

I knew that she was trying to get at the fact that I was still, clearly, in love with Liam, even if he was doing his best to stay away from me. I had determined that I was just going to drop the subject. It wasn’t worth it when he was in stubborn mode. You wouldn’t get him to do or say anything.

“I don’t know. I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

 

The car dropped me off by the backstage entrance, and I was shocked to see all of the girls lining the fence, hoping to get the chance to see one of the boys. It was only week two, and Louis had told me that their popularity was beginning to grow, especially amongst teenaged girls, but I didn’t believe him. I walked over to a door with a guard standing in front of it, and I showed him my credential. He smiled.

“Mr. Tomlinson said that he is expecting a guest.” he said. “This way.”

I followed him through the door and down a very long hallway that was lined with doors to dressing rooms. We got passed by several golf carts filled with people who, I assumed, were producers and other people who did things for the show, or on the show Red or Black. Both shows taped at the same studio, so it was incredibly busy backstage.

We stopped at a door that had “One Direction” on a name plate and knocked, after a moment, he pushed open the door and I got two different reactions from the two men who I was there for. Liam’s jaw completely dropped, whether it was from shock of seeing me, or disbelief at how nice I looked, I didn’t know. I actually found myself not caring what he thought, honestly. Especially when I saw Louis’ face completely light up. He stood and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. I hid my face in his neck, hiding a blush because he was only in his boxers and his bits were pressed up against me. He pulled away after a minute and kissed my forehead. 

Liam’s eyes flashed, and then he turned away.

“You look beautiful.” Louis said with a smile.

“Thank you.” I said, returning his smile. “I’m glad to see that you’re better, Harry.” I added, nodding at Harry. He grinned.

“It was nerves.” he said. “But seeing you definitely made them go away.”

“Cheeky.” I said, laughing. “You had better not let that show. The gossip blogs think you’re quiet.”

“I’m only cheeky when there’s a beautiful girl in the room.”

“Alright, alright. That’s enough.” Liam said. It sounded as if he was very angry.

“Jealous, Payne?” I asked him with a bitter note in my voice. His eyes met mine in the mirror for a second, but that second was all I needed to confirm my suspicions. He was jealous.

I saw Zayn glance between the two of us, and he shook his head. He must’ve known something that I didn’t, or picked up on something that I couldn’t see. I was going to make him tell me though, at some point.

 

When the boys were done with their performance, they came off the stage and Louis sought me out. He pulled me toward him and I thought he was expecting a “good job Tommo” and a hug, but I was wrong. He pressed his lips to mine, and I instantly wrapped my arms round his neck, steadying myself as I kissed him back. His lips were soft on mine, but his kiss was strong and sure.

We broke apart when we heard a door slam closed, and when we looked up, we noticed that Liam was gone.

 

“Your problems first, Jawaad.” I said to Zayn. I called him by his middle name, because I liked it a lot. 

We were sitting on the front steps of the house, and he was smoking a cigarette. I hated that he smoked, but it was his decision, not mine, so who was I to try and stop him? I knew that he wanted to quit though.

“I expect that Louis has told you that I fancy Leslie.” he said, taking a particularly long drag and then tapping the ashes onto the ground.

“Yeah, he has.” I said. “What of it?”

“Well, she has a boyfriend.” he said, taking another drag and then letting the cigarette hang between his fingers. “But I kissed her anyway.”

“You kissed her?!” I asked him. He nodded.

“We were just talking, and she was telling me how awful he is to her. He is just so horrible. He verbally abuses her a lot of the time, and is insanely over protective. If he found out she was talking to me as a friend instead of just a client he would go through the roof. She knows that I fancy her, and I was telling her how I would take care of her, and that I would never treat her the way that he does because she doesn’t deserve the things he says to her. And I kissed her.”

“Then what happened?” He took another drag and exhaled the smoke slowly, as if trying to think of the best way to say what he wanted too next.

“First she kissed me back. Then she slapped me. Then she left.” 

“It sounds like she’s a little confused.” I said. He threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, then he picked up the butt and put it in his pocket so that the grounds keepers wouldn’t have a total field day if they found it. “Just give her some time.”

He nodded. “So what’s happening with you and Louis?” he asked.

“I don’t know, to be quite honest.” I said. “I mean, I like him. Really, and I could see myself being with him… but then there’s Liam, and I just don’t know yet. I’ll figure it out.”

“Well, if you want my advice,” he started. “Try dating Louis. He really likes you, and you make him very happy. Liam is being a jackass. He’s fucking with your head right now because he can’t figure out what he wants. I know him very well by now, and I know that he will continue to do that until he figures it out. He shouldn’t stop you from being happy.”

“Thanks.” I said, taking in what he just said. I knew that was how Liam was. When he couldn’t decide things he would drag out the process for as long as he could, and drag people down with him. 

“We should go inside now.” he said, standing. I nodded and he helped me up. I wrapped an arm around his waist, and he put his arm around my shoulders, and then we went up the stairs together. He gave me a goodnight kiss on the cheek when we reached my room, and then he went down the hall to his. I pushed open my door, finding something I wasn’t expecting when I got inside.

Liam was sitting on my bed.

 

_Chapter Seven_

_“Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?”_

 

The next morning, I woke up with someone’s arms around my waist. It took me a moment to register that I was naked, and it was Liam next to me. I tried to wiggle out of his grip so I could go shower and take a minute to think about what had happened,  but his arm tightened around me, and determined that I was going to have to think in the spot I was in at that very second.

The night before came back to me slowly as his breath tickled my neck. He had come to my room looking for me, and he had remembered that Zayn had said something about talking to me after the performance. So he had just decided to wait for me in my room. Then he told me that he wanted to talk to me…

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, closing my door and locking it. I didn’t need anyone finding him in here, including, and especially, Louis. Not that it mattered. He had basically avoided me after he kissed me.

“I’m sorry.” he said, standing up and walking towards me. “I’m sorry for everything. For not telling you that I was auditioning again, for leaving you that night, and most importantly, I’m sorry for not being a phone call away when you needed me. I thought that me being gone wouldn’t hurt you, but it clearly did, and I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’ve been a terrible friend and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But if it makes anything better, I thought about you every second we were apart.”

“Why didn’t you tell this to me sooner? Why did you avoid me?”

“I wasn’t expecting to see you, so it threw me a curve ball. I was expecting you to stay with my mum, or something, so I needed time to come up with a proper apology.”

“You know, you said yourself that the worst thing a boy can do to a girl is ignore her when she is loving you with her whole heart.” I said quietly as my eyes started to fill. “You just expect me to forgive you? You come here and apologize and you just expect me to fall into your arms.”

“I missed you.” he said, pulling me close to him and resting his forehead on mine. “I missed you so much.”

His lips found mine and a fire spread from my mouth all the way down to my toes. I slid my hands down his back and into the pockets of his jeans, and then he was pushing me back towards my bed carefully. Then we were falling and my fingers were working at the buttons of his shirt with such skill and speed it was like I had done it one hundred times before and his lips were at my neck and it felt so good, so impossibly good that when he pressed me back into the pillows I lost all of the fight I had in me.

 

I remembered him making love to me after that. It was sweet and slow and it was almost as if it would be the last time, even though I knew that it wouldn’t be. We were sure to be together after this.

His lips touched my shoulder softly and I turned in his arms.

“Good morning.” he said softly, nuzzling my neck. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. He returned my smile and then rolled so he was on top of me so he could attack my neck with feather light kisses that made my stomach erupt with butterflies.

“Mm.. good morning.” I said, moaning softly. He kissed down my neck to my belly softly and then back up to my neck, slipping a hand between my legs. I jumped a little, not expecting it.

“Are you okay?” He asked me, seriously. He looked into my eyes to detect a lie in my answer. I nodded. Physically, I was fine. Better than fine, actually, I was fantastic. But emotionally and mentally? I was dying from being torn apart. He rubbed the spot between my legs softly.

“That feels good…” I muttered, closing my eyes. I felt him smile as he kissed my ear.

“Want to give it another go?” he whispered into my ear. I kissed his lips.

 

When I awoke the second time, he was gone and that left me wondering if it had all just been a dream, but then I remembered that eliminations were that night, and I laid back in my pillows with a sigh. I was torn.

There was Louis. Wonderful, sweet, funny, charming, amazing Louis. Louis, the one who made my heart flutter every time I saw him even though I had only known him for two weeks. Louis, who had held me when I was crying and stayed with me through one of the hardest, longest nights of my life. Louis, who made me laugh and smile like no one else could. Louis, who had helped me unpack just so he could get the chance to talk to me.

Then there was Liam. Liam, who had the beautiful brown eyes and incredible voice. Liam, who had left me, shut me out, and acted as though I had never existed at a time when I had needed him the most. Liam, my best friend, my rock. Liam, who had my virginity, something that was so precious to me that I wasn’t willing to give it to just anyone. Liam, who had my heart.

It sounds like a no brainer. Louis was obviously the better choice. Liam had hurt me, and broken me beyond repair, and Louis had been there to help me bandage the damage. But Liam was mine. He was my best friend, my lover. The One.

Little did I know, he was about to make my decision a helluva lot easier.

 

Louis asked me to go to the elimination round with him, and I had agreed. We drove to the Arena together, and I let him hold my hand in the car. He would squeeze it from time to time, and we leaned our heads in together. I would whisper reassurance to him as I played with his fingers. I felt slightly guilty the entire way there. If he ever found out about what Liam and I had done, he would be crushed. I couldn’t do that to him, and decided that it had to be kept a secret.

Zayn met my eyes in the mirror and they asked a silent question. I just shook my head and looked away.

 

         I wasn’t sure how the producers were able to make eliminations two hours long, but they did and, like I had told Louis over and over again, One Direction was on the contestant’s list for the next week. When I went to congratulate Louis and Zayn, Louis just hugged me and slipped a note into the pocket of my jeans. I smiled at him, and then I went to find Liam. When I did, I was completely caught off guard.

He was in a very, very intense make out session with Danielle. He had her pressed up against the wall and her hands were in the hair that I had pulled on and tangled only hours before. I bit my lip, and then left the room, not letting the tears fall, and who should come wandering around the corner but Zayn. The one who’s comfort I needed the most.

I all but fell into his arms when he saw me falling apart, and he held me tightly, sliding down the wall so we were both sitting. I hid my face in his neck and he let me cry.

“What happened?” he asked me, wiping my eyes with his thumbs gently. Liam and the others had left, so I figured that we were going to be in a car together alone. That was how I wanted it.

“There’s a part of my story about Liam that I haven’t told you.” I said, and then I told him everything from the past two days of my life. About how Liam had taken my virginity, and then how he and I had done the horizontal tango twice in the past twenty four hours. Zayn listened intently and didn’t interrupt, which I was thankful for. Once I started talking I wasn’t going to be able to stop for anything.

“…and then Louis gave me this and I haven’t even read it yet.” I said, pulling the note out of my pocket and passing it to Zayn. He unfolded it and his eyes scanned it quickly and then widened slightly.

“You might want to read it.” He said, handing it to me.

Will you be my girlfriend? Yes/No

x Louis

 

_Chapter Eight_

_“Can you feel this magic in the air, it must have been the way you kissed me. I fell in love when I saw you standing there.”_

 

“Hey there, love.” Louis said, greeting me with a smile and a kiss. I kissed him back, returning his smile, and put down my knife. “What are you making?” 

“I’m chopping peppers so Gloria can teach Niall how to make a quesadilla.” I said. “Niall certainly loves to eat.” I added, picking up another pepper and dicing it.

“I’m right here, you know.” Niall said, Taiylor laughed from her spot at the table. She was lucky to have survived the past week. She had been in the bottom three for two weeks in a row due to poor song choice. The girl that was eliminated was named Aisling, and she had had eyes for Niall. She was his best girl friend in the house, and he was sad to see her leave, but I can guarantee that Taiylor wasn’t.

Louis wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a soft kiss on my neck. I giggled.

“Hey, hey!” my mum said, walking through the door to the kitchen. “Hands off my daughter, Tommo.” 

“Sory ma’am.” He said, unwrapping his arms quickly and stuffing his hands into his pockets. He moved a good five feet away from me. “I was helping her cut peppers.”

“It looked like you were giving her a love-bite to me.” My mum said. “Just remember, I have a whole knife set at my disposal.”

His eyes widened. “Of course. It won’t happen again.”

That’s one of the many downsides of not having a father in your life to be over protective. Your mother steps in and takes over.

 

The next time I saw Louis that day, he was standing at my bedroom door, wearing black trousers and a blue, button down shirt. He was also holding a single, long stemmed, yellow rose.

“Don’t you look fancy.” I said with a smile. “You clean up good, Tommo. Really good.” I let my eyes scan from his freshly washed and styled hair all the way down to his black Toms. He just looked so fit.

“It’s a special night.” He said with a grin. “I’m taking you out on a date.”

“A date?” I asked him, then I looked down at my flour dusted shirt and jeans. “I’m not really dressed for a date.” I asses, certain that my hair was a mess and I had flour all over my face. We had been making cupcakes for dessert that night, and mum knew that I was the best at making them from scratch. So I was automatically assigned to teach the others.

“That’s why I’m telling you two hours ahead of the time when we actually have to leave. Make sure you wear a sweater though, it’s a bit chilly outside.” He handed me the rose with another cheeky smile and kissed my lips. “Mm.. sugar.” He said, grinning. I must have had sugar from the frosting on my lips.

Then he left.

A date. A date?! It was a very good thing that I could get ready in less than a half an hour and still look nice, or else Louis Tomlinson would be missing a tooth from me punching him in the face.

I took a fifteen minute power shower, and then I got dressed, putting on the first sweater that I could find. I brushed my hair and then looked at my appearance. I looked alright. The t-shirt and sweater were just nice enough so I could look halfway decent standing next to Louis.

I walked down the hallway to their room, a place where I hadn’t been before, and the door was closed so I knocked. I knew that all five of them shared a room, but when I opened the door I definitely wasn’t expecting to see Harry, who answered, standing there completely naked. Did you know he has four nipples? Weird.

His eyed widened when he saw it was me and I blushed and turned away quickly. The door slammed shut for a moment, and when it opened again Harry was standing there wearing pants.

“Sorry about that.” He said a little shyly. “Come in.”

“Is everyone else wearing pants?” I asked him. He looked over his shoulder.

“Trouser check!” he shouted at the boys. Everyone stuck their legs in the air, revealing different lengths and styles of pants. I didn’t need to see anymore nudity. My quota of nude was used up for the day.

He got me a chair and I sat down, noting that Liam was laying in his bunk, turned away from me. Jackass. I never did anything to hurt him. He was the one who ripped my heart to pieces.

“Where’s Louis?” I asked, glancing around the room. It was all but destroyed, but what can you expect when you throw five teenage boys into a room?

“Right here.” He said, popping up from behind a pile of dirty laundry. “I was trying to find a belt for my trousers. Ready to go?”

“Yes.” I said, smiling. He walked over to me and took my hand. “Bye boys.”

Various forms of “bye,” “be safe,” and “use a condom,” came from three voices, and I sighed, and we left the room, walking down the stairs to the car.

 

“Louis!” I said, laughing. He was behind me, and his hands were over my eyes, blinding me. “Where are we?”

“You’ll see in a moment.” He said with laughter in his voice. “Just a few steps more.” He took his hands off my eyes and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You can open your eyes now.”

I opened my eyes and was immediately awestruck. I had no idea how he had managed to get us into the grounds of Buckingham Palace after hours, and I didn’t know when he had found the time to come here and set up a picnic. There was a red and white checkered blanket on the ground with a basket in the middle, and two sets of dinnerware on the sides.

“What do you think?” he asked. His voice was just a little bit nervous, but I knew the exact word to describe it.

“Perfect.” I said, smiling and turning in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his lips softly. Then I stood on his toes and he walked us over to the blanket, sitting down with me in his lap.

“You have to sit across from me.” He said with a laugh. “Like in the films.”

“But I’m comfy here.” I said, pouting. He kissed my lips.

“Please?”

“Fine.” I crawled off his lap and to the other side, and he began to unpack the basket.

“I made everything myself.” He said proudly. “Without any help.”

“Proud of you.” I said with a smile. He was just so cute. I couldn’t even handle it, I really couldn’t. I was smiling like an idiot. “What did you make?”

“My specialty.” He said, handing me a sandwich. “Peanut butter and jelly.”

“With strawberry jelly?”

“Of course.” He said with a smile. “And I have carrots, because I love carrots, and your mum said that you like carrots. And for dessert, chocolate covered strawberries. Your mum did help me a bit with those. She didn’t trust me using the stove to melt the chocolate…”

“What about drinks?” I asked. He pulled out a bottle of what looked like wine. “I can’t drink.”

“It’s sparkling grape juice, love.” He said. “I’m the only one in the group that’s legal. I’ve gotten used to controlling myself. But the second you turn eighteen I am taking you to a club. That I can promise you.”

He popped the top on the bottle, and poured me a glass, then he poured one for himself.

“To our first date, ever.” He said, raising my glass. I clinked my glass against his and hoped that this was the first date of many to come.

After we finished eating, Louis cleared everything away and we laid down on the blanket, looking up at the stars.

“I used to lay on my roof and look at the stars.” I said as he pulled me close to him. “They’ve always sort of fascinated me. It’s sort of scary though, to think about what’s out there and what hasn’t been discovered yet.”

“Yeah.” He said. “But it’s fascinating. We’re so small.”

I rested my head on his shoulder and he rest his head on top of mine.

“Don’t fall asleep.” I said, closing my eyes and tracing his jaw gently. There was just the tiniest bit of stubble there. “We have to go back soon.”

“Just a few minutes.” He mumbled.

“You have to stay awake.” I said kissing his neck softly.

“Fine.” He said as I kissed his neck again. He kissed my forehead softly and I smiled. “Sorry about such short notice, by the way.”

“It’s alright.” I said, standing up. I held out my hand to help him stand, and he sat up, pulling me so I was leaning over him on all fours.

“You’re beautiful.” He said, and then he kissed my lips.

 

_Chapter Nine_

_“Can you feel this magic in the air, it must have been the way you kissed me. I fell in love when I saw you standing there.”_

 

Things for Louis and I only got better as the next two weeks passed. He was extremely busy with things for the competition, and I was busy helping my mother with things in the kitchen. Every week we cooked for less and less people, and it was very hard to see them go. Taiylor was still in the competition, which made Niall extremely happy, but she had been in the bottom two because of poor song choice. She had told me that it was only a matter of time before she was eliminated, but the good thing about her elimination (not that there is a good side) was that she lived close, so seeing Niall would be easy.

The first few days after the “Dirty Harry” incident, as Harry and I fondly referred to it, Harry tried to stay away from me. Then he finally came to my room and we talked about me seeing him naked, it made the situation a little less awkward. Still a little awkward, but not as bad. Zayn and I still talked every day about everything. Leslie had finally agreed to date him, even though she had her hesitations because she was a couple of years older than him and had never dated someone younger than her before, and she hadn’t ever had to deal with hate from fans.

Luckily for me, I hadn’t really been receiving hate because no one knew about me. I was just a cook at the X Factor house, but I had a feeling that was going to change soon. Louis had been hinting about telling the press, or mentioning me in an interview or bringing me to an event. I was surprised that no one caught us at Buckingham Palace, quite honestly. He must have had an in with the security team there. 

Liam went back to his old routine of ignoring me, but it didn’t hurt as badly as it had before. I had done nothing wrong. He didn’t know what he wanted, so I chose someone who did, and someone who made me happy instead of someone who made me sad and depressed. It was his bloody fault anyways. He fucked me, and then left three times. That sounds like someone thinking with his dick if you ask me. He couldn’t get it with Danielle, and he knew that I was ready and willing as long as I thought we would be together.

Zayn was doing a taste test with Konnie, one of the cooking staff. He had a blind fold on, and Konnie would feed him three to five pieces of fruit, and he had to guess what fruits they were. He was on round two, and Harry was filming him. It was early in the morning and I was cutting more fruit when Niall came down the stairs and wandered into the kitchen in a daze. He was grinning.

“Rough night?” I asked him. He sat down at the counter and rested his head in his hands.

“You could say that.” He said, still grinning. His hair was a little more messy than usual, and his eyes were sort of glowing.

“Oh my god.” I said, putting my knife down. “You and Taiylor!”

“Shh!” he said. “Keep your voice down! I don’t need the whole bloody house knowing!”

Just then, Taiylor came bouncing down the stairs and into the kitchen, sliding into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.”

“Hi there.” He said, smiling and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Hello.” She said, smiling and kissing his lips. I just smiled and returned to cutting fruit. Louis was at the table, laughing with another one of the contestants. He caught my eye and flashed a smile before returning to his conversation.

The kitchen was a bustling place normally, but today it just seemed extra busy. Liam was behind me, making a quesadilla on the stove top. I didn’t even know he was there until I heard the quesadilla maker close. So much for being best friends. Our fights had never lasted this long before. I knew falling in love with him was a bad idea.

I finished cutting up the fruit, and I put it into the bowl that I was making the salad in, then I tossed it with a raspberry vinaigrette (mum’s recipe) and put it in the fridge. Liam glanced at me.

“Goodmorning, Liam.” I said pleasantly. I was going to be the bigger person. “How are you today?”

He shrugged and turned his back to me.

“I’m great.” I said with a smile, getting a plate out of the cabinet for him. “I had a great night last night. Slept straight through.”

“Good for you.” He muttered, flipping his food onto his plate. He picked it up, and found a fork before going to sit at the table. I followed him.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” I asked, sitting across for him.

“Why don’t you ask Louis?” he said, bitterly, taking a bite of his food.

“Because I want you to tell me.” I said. “So I will ask again. What do you guys have planned for today?”

He ignored me, and took another bite of his food. I knocked it out of his hand.

“Fuck you!” I said, then I left the kitchen calmly and went back up to my room, closing the door and locking it behind me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I missed my best friend too much.

 

I opted to watch from the front row at the next live performance that week. I didn’t really want to be backstage, for obvious reasons. Louis found me in the crowd quickly, and pointed at me as he sang along to “Kids in America”. He looked like he was having so much fun, and he was so happy. I was so happy and proud for all of them.

After their performance was over, Simon glanced over his shoulder at me and half smiled. He knew I was dating Louis. He had caught us making out at one of the rehearsals.  He liked me, and he was usually nice. I knew that when he glanced at me it was okay for me to go backstage to my boyfriend.

When Liam saw me, he pulled Danielle into a kiss and I laughed. If he was trying to make me jealous, it wasn’t working. I only had my eyes on Louis, who was looking at me with the biggest smile on his face. He only had eyes for me, and at that point I only had eyes for him. Liam was a faint, faint, blip on my radar. Like he wasn’t even there.

 

_Chapter Ten_

_“The only place to go is all the way. Is that alright? Is that okay? There’s no need to be nervous, no babe. Cause I got you all night.”_

 

We were laying on my bed and kissing when things began to get to heated up. It had started with the performance, and then he had kissed me once, and then again, and the next thing I knew, he had pulled me so I was straddling him.

His hands were at my waist and mine were in his hair and we were only breaking apart when we absolutely needed to breathe, or he felt like moving on to kiss other spots like my neck…my shoulder…my collarbone.

“Mm..” I moaned a little louder than I meant to when he bit my neck. He pulled on my skin and I balanced my hands on his chest, capturing his lips with my own again.

“You’ve got to tell me…” he muttered as I kissed down his neck and started toying with the buttons on his shirt. “…if you want to stop.”

I kissed back up his neck and bit his ear softly. “I don’t.” I whispered into his ear. He shivered and traced around my jeans slowly as I started to unbutton his shirt. I liked unbuttoning shirts, but at that point, I wanted him so badly and the buttons were just stopping me from getting what I wanted. My hands were also shaking, and that wasn’t making it any better.

He slipped his hands up my back, and somehow managed to unhook my bra through my shirt as I slipped his shirt off of his shoulders. He then rolled so he was on top of me, and hooked one of my legs around his waist, lifting my shirt up around my stomach and running his fingertips over my skin. I arched into him so he could lift my shirt over my head. He tossed my shirt and bra aside quickly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stop?” he asked as I reached between us and unzipped his trousers. I slid my hands down the front and he moaned.

“Positive.” I muttered, sliding my hands back up his well defined abs and toned chest. His skin was so warm and soft against mine, and I realized at that second how many girls would kill to be in my position. I was dating and about to make love with Louis Tomlinson. I was best friends with Zayn Malik, Harry Styles and Niall Horan, and I had slept with Liam Payne three times.

Yes. Many girls would kill to be me.

I was lost in the feelings of Louis’ lips on my skin, and the feeling of his skin on mine. So lost that I didn’t even realize that he had slid my jeans down and tossed his own aside. The way he was pressed against me gave me the ability to feel his heat and I gasped when he rocked against me once.

If getting naked was this intense I could only imagine how the sex was going to be.

He ran his hands over me and I arched my back again, moaning softly. Then he started to slide my underwear down, pushing his to the side and rolling on a condom before he rested between my legs again. I could feel him pressing against me.

“Please, Louis.” I moaned. “Please.”

He covered my mouth with his hand, and it was a good thing he did. If he hadn’t the scream that would have escaped my mouth would have surely woken the whole house.

“Shh…We can’t wake anyone.” He said in a strained voice as he laid still for a moment. I slid one of my legs around his waist and he kissed my neck softly and began to rock in and out of me.

 

All I saw were stars, and the only thing I heard was the ragged sound of our breathing and my heart pounding in my ears. I had orgasmed twice already and he wasn’t even close to being done with me. Liam might have been my first few times but Lou was the first to make me orgasm like that. It felt so good. So, so, so good. His lips hadn’t left my skin and he continued pressing in and out of me.

He kissed my lips hard and bit my lip. I opened my mouth a little and then he moaned into my mouth really loudly and started shaking.

His hair was plastered to his face from sweat, and his back was slick as I ran my hands down it slowly and tightened my legs around him as he came, then he collapsed on top of me. He rested his forehead on my shoulder and tried to catch his breath as I wrapped my arms around him. We just lay there, with his head on my shoulder and me playing with his hair tiredly.

After a few minutes, he kissed my lips and moved off of me, tugging my blankets up and around us before pulling me close. I rested my head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. It sounded like a song that was specifically for me.

“Was this your first time?” he asked me, pulling me close as I wrapped a blanket around the two of us. Our bodies stuck together with dried sweat and we were fighting to slow our breathing. I rested my head on his chest.

I didn’t know what I was going to tell him. If I told him yes, I would be lying. But if I told him no then he might ask who the first was. I couldn’t tell him that my first was Liam. It would hurt him to know that the guy who I was fighting so hard to get over was the one who had a piece of me I couldn’t get back.

“No.” I said, closing my eyes and tracing patterns over the spot where his heart was beating so rapidly. He rested his head on top of mine and traced up and down my arm softly.

“Who was?” he asked, kissing my forehead. I knew that he was going to ask, I knew it. But now what was I supposed to say?

“No one that you know.” I said, quickly. A little too quickly, actually. “It wasn’t anyone important. Just someone from back home.”

“For some reason I don’t believe that.” He said with a smile. I kissed his chest softly.

“Was it your first time?” I asked him, changing the subject. He shook his head. “I had a feeling. You were too good for it to be.”

I heard a soft snore and I smiled. I traced his face gently, and smoothed his hair out of his eyes, snuggling close to him. He was my Tommo. My Louis, and I loved him.

But if I loved him, then why, as I fell asleep, were my thoughts filled with Liam?

 

When I woke up, Louis was already awake and flipping through one of the gossip mags I had bought when mum and I had gone shopping for groceries.

“It says here that Harry hasn’t had a proper kiss. But this is a picture of Liam.” He said, shaking his head. “That is just taking away one’s identity.”

“Everyone makes mistakes.” I said, laughing and resting my head in the crook of his arm.

“But how can anyone confuse Harry and Liam? They’re too different. In looks and personality.”

“I don’t know, Love.” I said. “Eliminations are tonight.”

“I’ve been trying not to think about that.” He said, focusing back on the page. “But in all honesty, I’m not too worried about it.”

“I do too. All of the girls have been voting for you.”

“They’ve also been watching the video diaries. Do you know how many bags of carrots I have received in the past few weeks?”

I laughed.

“It’s a serious problem. I’ve given the majority of them to your mum.”

“I’m sure she’s happy to have them.”

“I’ve told them this week that I like girls who like Lamborghinis. Let’s see how many of those I get.”

 

_Chapter Eleven_

 

“Can I please go with you?” I all but begged Louis a few mornings later. He had just found out what the event for the week was on the X Factor and I couldn’t believe it. “Please, Louis. Please, please, please?!”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my lips. I was just about jumping up and down because I wanted to go so badly.

“I’ll have to ask.” He said, putting his hands on my shoulders. “And I don’t know how much publicity and red carpet things we have to do, so I don’t know if I will be able to see you much.”

“That’s alright. I’ll be stalking cast members anyways.”

“Just promise you won’t get arrested and you can go.”

 

“I can’t believe you’re going to the Harry Potter premiere.” My mum said, twisting my hair into a loose knot and smoothing the back of my dress. She had let me borrow a beautiful, light blue gown that she had worn to Liam’s parents wedding. It was tight on top, and then had a flowing feathery skirt that stopped just above my knees. Louis told me to wear a dress in case I had to go on the red carpet with him, which was likely.

“I know. It’s like a dream come true.” I said, excitedly, shifted a little and listening to the fabric rustle.

Harry Potter was extremely important to me, because it had saved me. No one knew this, but it had saved me from myself during one of the lowest points in my life. There was a time when I didn’t have any friends, other than Liam, and I sank into a depression that I couldn’t shake. When I left my world and entered Harry’s I found somewhere that I belonged, with friends I loved and could trust. I truly didn’t know where I would have been if I didn’t have Hogwarts. Truly. That’s why I begged Louis. I wanted to meet the people who portrayed my heroes and thank them, and, if I could, I wanted to thank JK Rowling herself. And maybe ask her to sign my copy of Order of the Phoenix that was stashed in the handbag I was bringing.

Louis knocked on my door frame and I turned to face him. His face immediately lit up. I liked being able to make him smile like that. It was a good feeling.

“You look beautiful.” He said kissing my lips. He held his arm out for me to take. 

“You look dashing, as always.” I said, smiling and taking his arm.

“I’ll have her back by one.” Louis said to my mum, smiling. She nodded and then the two of us left the room to go to the limo that was waiting for us. There weren’t a lot of people left in the house anymore and the ones that were, I wasn’t close with. Taiylor had gotten eliminated the week before, which made me sad because she was the only girl I really talked to that lived in the house.

 

The Goddess of writing herself was standing right next to me, and I was doing everything in my power not to scream. I had my Order of the Phoenix in hand, and I was shaking because I was nervous.  I couldn’t believe I was about to meet her, JK Rowling. I was in shock.

“Miss Rowling?” I asked when she turned away from the group of fans she had been with. She smiled at me and stopped walking.

“Yes?” she asked. Her voice really was as quiet as it was in interviews. She took my book from me and began to sign it.

“My name is Tricia.” I said, a bit shakily. “And I wanted to say thank you.” She stopped signing my book and listened to me intently. “I know you probably hear this a lot, but your books saved me, in every possible way that a person can be saved. I don’t know where I would be without them. They gave me somewhere to belong, and friends that I love and trust. I can never express how grateful I am for that.”

She didn’t say anything. She just pulled me into a hug.

“You’re welcome.” She said into my ear, and then she took my arm and we walked down the red carpet together, chatting a bit. Then she took my book back, finishing her signature before heading off to her interview.

 

_If you ever want to talk books._

_jkr@aol.com_

 

I almost dropped the book onto the ground and then someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and saw Tom Felton standing there, holding a sharpie.

“I’ve just met a lad that says I’m one of your favorite actors?” He said with a devilish grin. That was his signature smile.

“Was he Pakistani with an earring and a charming smile?” I asked him, returning the smile. Zayn was the only one I could talk about Harry Potter with, and we had had an hour long conversation about Tom Felton and Draco Malfoy.

“If I recall correctly, then yes.”

“Then you’ve found the right girl.” I said, laughing. “You make me feel for Draco. Really. I never liked him until I saw the way you portrayed him in Half Blood Prince. It was just astounding.”

“I could have done better.” He said with a shy smile. He took my book out of my hands and signed it quickly, then he lead me over to where Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Oliver and James Phelps, Matt Lewis, Bonnie Wright and Evanna Lynch were standing. I was nearly skipping from excitement.

Tom introduced me to all of them and we got to chatting for a few moments as they passed my book around. Then, somewhat against my will, I had to go and find Louis. I was absolutely elated.

“You look happy.” Louis said with a smile when I found him. He took my hand and we walked into the theatre together, finding seats towards the middle. He was on my right, Zayn was on my left, then Harry, Niall, Taiylor, and Liam and Danielle.

“I’ve just met the entire cast of Harry Potter, who have played my heroes for a decade.” I said. “JK Rowling gave me her personal email address, and I’ve gotten my book signed. It  has been the best night of my life, and it’s all because of you.”

He smiled and kissed my lips just as the lights went down in the theatre. I rested my head on his shoulder.

It was the best night of my life, and I knew I was going to remember it for a very long time.

But after that night, everything began to spiral out of control.

 

_Chapter Twelve_

 

“Come with me.” Liam said as I was cutting up vegetables for a salad. This time it was for myself. I was hungry. He grabbed my arm and pulled on it. “We’re going for a walk around the block.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” I asked him, not putting my knife down. I could easily cut him, and I considered it as he pulled my arm again.

“I’m not giving you the option.” He said, firmly. “We’ve got to go now, while the others are napping. Come on.”

“It’s not like you’ve ever given me the option before.” I muttered.

“Leave the knife.” He said as I started to pocket it.

“Fine.” I said, putting it back on the counter. I wiped my hands and followed him out the door of the house. He turned left at the end of the driveway and I walked beside him for a little ways before he said anything.

“When are you going to stop being mad at me?” He asked.

“I’m not mad at you. Who said I was mad at you?” I said, sarcastically. “I’ll stop being mad at you when you stop playing with my bloody heart. It’s already torn up enough, don’t you think?”

“You haven’t spoken to me in weeks.” He said.

“You fucked me, and then started dating another girl!” I protested. “Don’t you think it was going to take me some time to wrap my head around that?! I thought we were going to be together!”

He kicked a patch of rocks and mumbled something.

“Can you repeat that?”

“I said ‘so did I’.” he mumbled. “But then you went and started dating Louis! How do you think that made me feel?”

“I’m not even going to discuss that with you.” I said. “You don’t know what pain is until someone sleeps with you, leaves, cuts you out of their life completely, avoids you when they see you again, sleeps with you twice more, and then starts dating someone else because they can’t make up their mind. I don’t deserve that shit, Liam. Not from someone who means more to me than life itself.”

“I just… I don’t know what I want.” He said as we turned the corner.

“And you expect me to wait around for you to figure it out? Sorry, but that’s just not going to happen. I have someone else I care about, and he cares about me too.”

“But I love you.” He said, his eyes sparkling with tears. I stopped walking and stared at him, feeling my heart break just a little. He never cried, not even once.

“What?”

“I love you.” He repeated.

“You love me, but you like her.” I said, starting to get frustrated. We were back at the house now. “Well listen here, buddy. You had better damn well figure out what you want. But until then, don’t you dare try to come between me and Louis. Don’t you dare.”

 

Wear a dress tonight.” I read out loud to Leslie. She and I had become friends soon after she started dating Zayn. She was very pretty and had an amazing sense for fashion, which would explain why she was a stylist.

“He must be signing something really classy.” She said, glancing at my phone screen.

“I don’t have any dresses with me…” I said to her. She smiled a smile that made me nervous.

 

An hour later I was sitting in the audience, wearing a black dress that Leslie had let me borrow for the night. I only knew that it was Elton John week, so I was sure it was a love song.

The lights came up and Louis’ eyes locked on me, and Liam’s searched for me too. When he saw me, his jaw dropped for a moment, and he began to sing “The Way You Look Tonight” by Elton John. I smiled at Louis and blew him a kiss. His smile grew and they broke into the chorus.

“And I can’t explain…” they sang it out, and I knew that this song, this cover, was going to be my absolute favorite thing they ever sang.

I couldn’t see that, from backstage, Danielle Peazer was sending me looks equal to death.

 

When I went backstage, I was met with someone slapping me across the face. I staggered backwards, caught off guard, and my eyes watering with pain. I looked up to see it was Danielle, and she slapped me again.

“What the bloody hell are you doing?!”  I shouted at her.

“You’re trying to steal my boyfriend!” she screamed. “I saw the pictures of the two of you!”

“I’m not trying to steal your boyfriend!” I shouted back at her. “Louis!” I called as the girl aimed a kick at my knee. Her stiletto caught the skirt, and it tore, scraping down my shin in the process. “Louis!” I called again. “Liam! Zayn! Niall! Harry! Anyone!”

She aimed another kick at me and it hit me in the back of my knee. I lost my balance, and I reached out to grab her so I didn’t fall. Unfortunately, she only weighed about 100 pounds, and instead of supporting my weight, she fell down with me. I screamed when my knee hit the cement floor, sure it was cracked now, and I heard a voice.

“What the _hell_ is going on?!” Liam’s voice shouted. I laid back on the cement, moaning in pain as hot blood trickled down my leg from the scrape on my shin. Louis and Zayn walked around the corner, and when they saw me, they rushed to my side and helped me stand. I used them as crutches, not wanting to put any weight on my bad keg. Harry and Niall came into the room shortly after.

“She attacked me!” Danielle said. I let my head droop against Zayn’s shoulder.

“You attacked my girlfriend?!” Liam shouted, starting to walk towards me.

“You can’t possibly believe her!” Harry protested. “There isn’t a scratch on her!”

“She did though, baby.” Danielle said. “She saw me and just came after me, screaming about how she was going to steal you from me!”

“I can’t believe you!” Liam shouted as another pain shot up my knee. I moaned in pain.

“How could Tricia have hurt herself this badly?” Louis asked.

“She’s a psycho!” Danielle screamed.

“It’s a lost cause.” I said to the four boys at my aid. They had rushed to my defense and for that I was grateful.

“Do you need a doctor?” Zayn asked me. I wasn’t sure, so I shrugged, causing a pain to shoot through my shoulder where I had hit it on the floor.

“Harry.” Louis said. “Can you call Tricia’s mother and tell her we’re taking her to the hospital?” Liam watched in shock. I don’t think he understood why they were taking my side when I had quite clearly attacked Danielle. “Tell her not to panic. That she just fell in the parking lot.”

Harry nodded and pulled his iPhone out of his pocket before leaving the room.

“Niall can you get the car?”

Niall nodded and left the room.

Louis scooped me up into his arms, and Zayn walked ahead of us to open the doors and hold them while Liam just stood and watched us leave.

 

_Chapter Thirteen_

 

The only time the boys (Niall, Louis, Harry and Zayn, anyways) left my side was when they were needed at rehearsals, when they were making the video diary, (in which Louis read my copy of _Meltdown_ and shouted “NO!” Jimmy protested) and when they had to use the loo (for Niall that was quite frequently). 

Harry and Niall had made makeshift beds out of blankets on my floor, and Zayn and Louis slept in my bed with me. That way, they reasoned, they could cuddle up to me and keep me safe. When I had told them what had actually happened, they had found my story more believable, seeing as I was lying in bed with a strained knee that had been dislocated, and a dislocated shoulder, while Danielle had escaped without a scratch. Liam had tried to convince them otherwise several times, but they wouldn’t have it. I was thankful that I had them, but nervous as to how it was going to affect them as a band. The video diary had been a bit tense, but Louis managed to break it up with his humor.

Leslie had managed to pass up the dress, and it ended up looking better than it had before it was ripped. She offered to let me have it, but I politely declined, not wanting to have anything that reminded me of that night. It was just awful.

Louis hadn’t even asked me if I wanted to go to the next performance, even though it was Beatles week, and he knew that I loved the Beatles. I was on crutches because of my knee, and the last thing I wanted was Danielle on my ass, going on about how she “was attacked” and I’m “a psycho” to quote her. Even though the press release clearly stated that she escaped without a scratch, and that I was hurt. That got me a lot of fan support, I think. I was getting countless friend requests on Facebook and Twitter, and it was absolutely insane. I couldn’t believe it.

Louis called me before they started their performance, and as I was watching on TV. I saw his phone on the stage next to him. I turned my television on silent so I could listen to them and watch them.

 

Liam came to my room after the performance with a dozen carnations and a card that was a get well soon themed pink mess.

“I’m a terrible person.” He muttered, and then he left, leaving the flowers on my night stand and throwing the card into my lap I tore open the envelope, and the first thing that I noticed was he only signed his name.

“Really heartfelt, Payne.” I muttered, and then Louis and Zayn came into my room, taking their places on my bed on either side of me.

“You guys were amazing yet again.” I said, smiling as Louis took my hand and Zayn snuggled under the blankets next to me. They were so tired, and I recognized it immediately. Louis kissed my lips and then joined Zayn under the covers as Harry and Niall staggered into my room and crashed onto their blanket-beds.

“Get some rest.” I said to the four of them. They all nodded sleepily, and I flipped the light switch by my bed.

The next morning, they were gone. I picked up my crutches and hobbled down the hallway, jumping down the stairs on one foot so I could get to the kitchen and do my job. My mother was not impressed with Liam after what I had told her. It showed in the way that she treated him compared to the other four boys. I knew that it was starting to get to him. Each day he looked a little more upset and frazzled, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the fact that his mates had all taken my side, or if it was because my mother had stopped treating him like a son. Whatever the reason, he was going to snap. I just didn’t know what he was going to say or do. When he snapped, he was completely unpredictable.

Zayn walked into the kitchen with Leslie at his side, clutching her hand and he sat at the counter, pulling her onto his lap. He was always smiling with her, and I was so happy that things were working for them. In the month or so that they had been dating, Leslie’s hesitations had been destroyed, especially since Zayn had treated her as nothing short of a princess.

“Hey, hey!” I said as he gave her another kiss. “Not in the kitchen!” I swatted his shoulder with a newspaper that had been left on the counter, and he laughed.

“Just making my lady happy.” He said with a grin. “What are you making?”

“Smoothies.” I said, hopping across the kitchen on my crutches to get a quart of vanilla ice cream from the freezer. “Strawberry banana. Want one?”

“Sure.” Leslie said with a smile. Zayn nodded in agreement, and I plugged in the blender.

“How’s Liam?” I asked Zayn. Louis was playing video games with Harry and Niall, so I thought it was safe to ask. I felt like it had been ages since I had been able to talk with Zayn properly.

“I think it’s taking its toll.” Zayn said, shrugging. “He’s keeping a lot inside. He won’t talk to us anymore, he’s like a time bomb.”

Then his phone went off, and he answered it with a smile.

“Hi mum.” He said. “Yeah, I’ve— what? Mum, slow down. What’s wrong?”

I looked at Leslie, knowing instantly that neither one of us liked the sounds of his conversation. He ran a hand through his hair, and a tear slipped down his cheek.

“Alright.” He said, choking back a sob as his voice broke. “I’ll arrange it. I love you, mum. Bye.”

Leslie slid her hand up and down his back slowly, and he pulled her close to him. I took his hand from across the counter.

“My granddad passed away.” He said. Then, he completely broke.

 

_Chapter Fourteen_

 

With Zayn and Leslie gone, there was a lot of added pressure on the boys during rehearsals. It was really hard for them to rehearse a five part harmony when only four of them were there, plus there was the tension between the three of them and Liam. Also, Uncle Simon was sick, so that was even more of a stressor. It was just a rough week all around, for everyone. I missed Zayn terribly, and I was hoping that he was okay. Since it was the semi final round, Louis and the others were gone all day long, and sometimes late into the night. They didn’t even come to my room because they were too afraid of waking me.

But I got off of my crutches, and only needed to wear a brace now,  it was easily concealed, and I decided that I was going to go to their performance, and I was going to stand back stage and not care about Liam or Danielle or anyone else but Louis. I was starting to fall in love with him, at least I thought that I was.

 

Zayn came back on Thursday, two days before the live performance for the semi-final round was going to be taped, and he came to me for the first hug.

“I’m here for you, Jawaad.” I said to him, kissing him on the cheek. He nodded.

“I have to get to rehearsal.” He said quietly, then he left the room, leaving Leslie and I standing there alone. He was going to need as much time as he could get to prepare for the live performance.

“How is he?” I asked when he was out of ear shot. Leslie shrugged.

“He’s hanging in there.” She said. “It’s been really hard on him. He was really close to his granddad.”

I nodded. “He’ll be alright, I think.”

“I just hope he feels better before they go on tour.”

“What tour?” I asked. “Louis never said anything about a tour.”

“The _X Factor_ tour.” She said. “At the end of each competition the competitors go on tour together for two months. I’m sure that the boys know about it. They were told in the beginning when they moved into the house. Louis definitely knows about it.”

“I wonder why he didn’t tell me.” I said to myself as I walked up the stairs and into my room. I sat on my bed and opened up my journal, beginning to write. The last thing that I had written about was Danielle attacking me and Liam giving me flowers. I didn’t even know what pictures Danielle was talking about, and honestly, I didn’t care to find out.

 

The first song the boys sang that week was “You Are So Beautiful” and I felt two pairs of eyes on my from the moment that the song began. Louis and Liam both had their eyes on me. Harry was staring at his girlfriend, Aimee, who had come from Cheshire for the last two weeks of the competition, Niall was staring at Taiylor, and Zayn had his eyes on Leslie. By this time, people knew all about what had happened with me and Danielle, and I was sure that people in the audience were noticing Liam’s gaze. This wasn’t going to be good.

 

DaniellePeazer: I love that everyone is supporting @triciamorrison. She’s a bitch.

 

“Louis, I don’t understand.” I said, crying into his shoulder. “I’ve done nothing wrong. Liam and I just went for a walk to try and put things right. I didn’t even know the paparazzi are following you guys already.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” he asked me, kissing the top of my head softly. I shook my head.

“No.” I said, kissing his shoulder. “I can talk to him. I’ll do it.”

My opportunity came later that night as he was going up the stairs to his room after dinner. He had gotten the silent treatment from everyone, again. In retrospect, it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to approach him after that, but I did. Everyone knew the about the drama, and everyone was angry at him for allowing it to get that far. Especially since I had a good reputation in the house amongst the staff and remaining competitors.

“You know.” I said as he walked away from me. He stopped and turned. “You should leave your hair curly. It will look better, more natural.” I was one of the few who had ever seen him with his hair curly. He had either had it cut really short, or straightened it all of the time. I liked it curly. It looked better.

“Maybe.” He said, shrugging. I walked so I was standing next to him.

“I don’t want to fight with you anymore.” I said quietly. “I’m sick of it. We’re best friends. This isn’t how friendship is supposed to go.”

“I know.” He said. “It’s my fault, though.”

“Mostly.” I said, shrugging. His eyes flashed and he turned around, storming up the stairs. “Tell your girlfriend to bugger off!” I called after him.

I didn’t say anything wrong, again, and yet he stormed off. I wasn’t the one to blame. He was the one who constantly treated me like dirt. It was his fault, not mine. All I did was agree with him. That’s it. I agreed! God he was frustrating.

I knew one thing was clear.

I wasn’t getting him back any time soon.

 

_Chapter Fifteen_

 

I was back home in my room in Wolverhampton, and my mum was at afternoon tea with Liam’s mum. It was December, a few days after Christmas, actually. The boys had decided to spend the holidays together in their new flats in London. They had taken third place in the competition overall, a girl that I hadn’t been friends with, Rebecca had taken second, and then another guy, Nick I think his name was, won. Well, his name was either Nick or Matt. Whatever, all I knew was that my boys did not win. The boys didn’t have to worry, they were sure to be fine, but I think it was more of the satisfaction of winning. But, I think they still counted it as a win, because they had gone from not even knowing each other’s names to best friends, and taking third place. But like I said, it was more of them wanting to win just to say they won.

But, also like I said, it didn’t matter that they took third. The next day they were at Syco records, in Simon Cowell’s office, discussing a record deal. At the end of the day, they came back home with a contract, four new flats in an apartment complex in London, and a schedule for days they would have to go back to the studio to start recording their first single, and choosing tracks for an album. They had become a national sensation over night, and I could not go anywhere without seeing their faces on a magazine. Of course, with the rather large amount I  of money that I had received as pay for working at the X Factor I was able to buy all of them, and soon I had a wall full of posters of the five of them, so I could see them even though I couldn’t be with them.

I had also taken to wearing Liam’s sweater again. I hadn’t worn it at the X Factor because I had had Louis with me all of the time to keep me distracted, but now that he was gone, I found my thoughts drifting to the all of the times that Liam and I had had together. All of the little things that made me fall in love with him. Underneath everything that had been happening now, he was a very amazing guy. Even if he hadn’t been acting like it.

I just missed them all so much. I missed my friends.

 

The rumors aren’t true, love. We’re just friends.

x Louis

 

I looked at my phone screen, puzzled. I didn’t have any idea what this was about, but I knew that there was only one way to find out, so I looked on one of my favorite gossip blogs, and figured out what was going on.

Louis was walking down the street in London with an unknown girl eating an ice cream cone. There was a bold headline that read ‘What About Tricia?’ and an article that talked about how Louis had been spotted with her several times throughout London in the past week. I didn’t really think anything of it. I knew that he wouldn’t cheat on me, and he was perfectly capable of being friends with whoever he wanted. I couldn’t control him in the slightest, but seeing him in the photos made me want to see all of them more. I missed Louis and Zayn so much that my heart hurt.

My phone buzzed, and again, Louis’ name popped up on my screen. I smiled and opened up the text.

 

I’m sending tickets and passes to your house  
for our concert in Wolverhampton. I’ll arrange  
everything. I can’t wait to see you.

x Louis

 

My smile grew and I texted him back, asking if I could call him. He hadn’t had any time to call me, and I hadn’t heard his voice since Christmas. My phone almost immediately began to ring.

“Hi, Love.” Louis said from the other end of the line. “I don’t have much time, we’re on our way to an interview.”

“It’s alright.” I said with a smile. “I just wanted to hear your voice.” I pulled a blanket around my shoulders. “How are you?”

“Extremely tired. We’ve been so busy, I can’t even tell you where we are right now.”

“You’re in London for publicity and a concert tonight.” I said. I hated that they were so busy. Last time Zayn had called to check up on me, he was barely awake, and he almost fell asleep talking with me. Their management was pushing them to their limit and then some.

“Oh, is that where we are?” he asked in a daze. “Thank you for letting me know. No one tells me anything.”

“Or you just don’t listen.” I said with a smile.

“That too.” He said, laughing. “I have to go now, though. Turn on your radio. It’s going live in a few minutes.”

“I will.” I said. Our conversation was too short. “I love you.”

“Love you.” He said, then he hung up.

I crossed the room to get my head phones, and I plugged them into my cell phone. I had an Android, so I got FM radio stations on it. I turned to the station quickly, and it started playing just as the interview began.

“Let’s clear some things up.” The interviewer said. He seemed pleasant enough. “Which ones of you have girlfriends?”

“We all do.” Zayn said. He still sounded tired, even though it was an afternoon show. “Harry’s got a girlfriend at home, and the four of us met ours on the X Factor.”

“Bit of a dramatic time.” Louis said with a laugh. “Nothing we couldn’t get through, though. Just a bit of a speed bump. That’s the term, right?”

“Yeah, that’s the word.” Niall said. “Especially for Liam, Louis and Zayn. Me and my girlfriend don’t have problems. Never have.”

“What sort of problems did you have?” the interviewer asked.

I tugged on my hair. Our whole relationship was about to be outed on national radio. I put my pillow over my face, not wanting to hear.

“Well, my girlfriend,” Liam began slowly. “Sort of…attacked Louis’ girlfriend. I’m sure you’ve heard about that. She thought Louis’ girlfriend was trying to take me away from her.”

“Why would she think that?” the interviewer asked.

“Because Liam and my girlfriend have history.” Louis said. “That’s actually how she and I got to know each other. She trusted me with their history and we became friends, now we’re dating.”

“What kind of history?”

“Just history.” Liam said quietly. “Just remember, Louis.”

Oh no. This was not good. This was not good at all.

“Remember what, Liam?” Louis asked tensely.

“You might have her heart.” Liam said, his voice growing more and more snide and powerful. “But I have her virginity.”

 

Chapter Sixteen

 

“And with that, we’ll cut to a commercial.” The interviewer said. I pulled my ear buds out, and rolled over on my stomach so my face was in my pillow. My phone instantly started buzzing. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t hear the hurt that was going to be in his voice.

But I had too.

“Hello?” I said weakly as tears began to streak down my face.

“Is it true?” Louis asked. His voice was choked, and cracking. “You’ve got to tell me.”

“It’s true.” I said, my own voice breaking.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to get hurt.” I said. “It was stupid, and wrong and I shouldn’t have lied to protect you.”

“You said he wasn’t important.” He said. “That’s a lie. We both know that he is important to you.”

“But you’re more important to me.” I said, wiping my eyes.

“Tell me honestly.” He said. His voice was tense. “How many times.”

“Three.” I said quietly.

“I have to go.”

“Louis –”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you…”

“Yeah. Bye.”

 

When I got to the concert in Wolverhampton two weeks later, the first person I sought out was Liam. I found him backstage, chatting with someone, and I grabbed his arm, pulling him into the closest room and locking the door.

“Nice to see you too.” He muttered. I turned towards him and slapped him across the face so hard that his eyes instantly started to water in pain. “What was that for?!”

“You –” I hit his chest. “– fucking –” I hit him again. “– asshole!”

He doubled over, trying to protect himself, and I hit him again.

“I was happy you bastard!” I screamed. “I was happy and you couldn’t fucking stand it! You fucked up my relationship because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut! Why would you do that to Louis?! To ME! To me, Liam! To me!” I shoved him into a table and he fell. “I hate you, Liam James Payne. I never want to see you again!”

He clutched his side in pain from where he had hit the edge of the table, and he reached into his pocket. He took out a piece of paper and held it out to me.

“Here,” he said. He shook his hand a little. “Take it.”

I snatched it out of his hand, and he rolled over onto his back, moaning in pain, and holding onto his side.

“I wrote it before you and Louis started dating.” He muttered. “I wrote it for you.”

I unfolded the page and glanced at it, realizing by the form that it was a song. It was worn, and wrinkled, and nearly coming apart in my hands.

 

_I’m broken, do you hear me?_

_I’m blinded, cause you are everything I see._

_I’m dancing, alone. I’m praying that_

_your heart will just turn around._

 

_And as I walk up to your door,_

_my head turns to face the floor,_

_cause I can’t look you in the eyes and say_

 

_when he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,_

_it just won’t feel right.._

_cause I can’t love you more than this, yeah_

_when he lays you down I might just die inside,_

_it just don’t feel right._

_cause I can’t love you more than this._

_I can’t love you more than this._

 

“What’s this for?” I asked him a little more sharply than I intended. He winced, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of my tone, or because of his ribs.

“My decision.” He said. “I choose you.”

I put the paper in my pocket and left the room, needing to clear my head and get as far away from everyone as I could. I couldn’t do this anymore. It was ruining the band, and it was ruining me. I couldn’t do this. I had to think about what was best for me, and what was best for them.

“Tricia!” I heard Louis’ voice calling from behind me. I kept walking, and he called after me again. He was following me. I felt him catch my arm and I stopped. “Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.” I said, not turning around to face him.  “I can’t keep doing this. Not anymore.”

“Doing what?” he asked.

“Splitting you guys apart.” I said. “It’s hurting you, and it’s hurting me, and I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.”

“If this is about me being a dick to you…” he started. I turned to face him. His face was pain stricken, and I covered my face with my hands.

“It’s not.” I said, looking him dead in the eye. “You have been more than I deserve. Right now I am trying to do what is right for everyone involved. I hurt you, I hurt Liam, and in the process I’ve split you guys apart and you’ve all taken sides. It’s not fair to me to be the cause of that, I have to do this.”

“I don’t want you to go.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry I was a dick. It caught me off guard, and I thought you would have told me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” I said, looking at the floor. “I need to go. It will be better if I do.”

“Can I have one more kiss, then?” he asked me quietly. He pulled me close to him and I nodded. He pressed his lips against mine softly for a moment and I pulled away before I absolutely melted and changed my mind. A few seconds more and it would have happened.

“See you around.” 

Then, I turned my back on him and left the arena, logging on to the British Air website from my phone and buying myself a plane ticket to Los Angeles.

I couldn’t believe that my mother would agree, but I had already bought the ticked, and there was no turning back. By some miracle, she agreed with me, and, taking our X Factor money, she bought me a plane ticket to Florida for two weeks after I spent two weeks in Los Angeles. She told me that he wanted me to see Disney World before I turned eighteen, and she wanted me to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. She knew how important it was to me, and she wanted me to see it.

After a few hugs at the airport, and promises to call her, I was on a plane and not looking back.

 

I had been in Los Angeles for two weeks on my own, exploring the town. It was nice to be away from everyone and everything, and I didn’t even bring my phone, or anything that would tempt me to check on the gossip. I had even decided to let my Tumblr run on my queue for a month. That was rare for me. I loved to creep on One Direction blogs and talk to fans. They were so sweet.

I spent most of my time reading by the pool of my hotel, and calling cabs to go to different places. I went to a lot of film studios on tours, thanks to money that my job at the X Factor house had provided me with. It was a wonderful time, and I had even met and made friends with a bartender at my hotel. We were just friends, and most of our conversation was him making fun of my accent. I had kept myself so busy that I didn’t want to go home. The first day of week three, I got on a plane and flew from Los Angeles to Florida. 

Six hours later, I was in the Grand Floridian Hotel, sleeping, when I heard a few screams coming from outside my window. I opened my eyes, and stood, walking over to the window, only to face my worst nightmare.

Zayn, Niall, Louis, Liam and Harry were standing poolside, taking pictures with fans. 

 

Chapter Seventeen

 

Unfortunately, at the same moment I looked out the window, Zayn looked up. He caught my eye, and I tried to duck out of his line of view, hoping he thought it was a trick of the light. I knew that he was smarter than that, and that he knew it was me. After I moment, I saw him excuse himself from the group and head inside. Not even five minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“Tricia.” I heard. “Open the door, or I’ll break it down. I swear I will.”

I crossed the room after drawing the blinds, and opened the door, throwing myself into Zayn’s outstretched arms. I had missed him, and seeing him standing there had broken a wall that I had built myself, telling me that I didn’t need them, and couldn’t admit to missing them. Zayn especially. He hugged me tight, and I hid my face in his shoulder, allowing a few tears to fall.

“Hey, Jawaad.” I said, pulling back and wiping my eyes. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He said, still holding onto me. “Why did you leave? I didn’t even get to see you. Louis just said that you left.”

“Liam gave me this.” I said, taking the song he had written me off of the night stand and handing it to him. “He said he wrote it before I started I dating Louis. I needed to clear my head, so I bought a ticket to Los Angeles, and then mum told me she bought me a ticket to Florida for two weeks. I’ve been in America ever since. I needed to clear my head.”

“This is basically stating his undying love for you.” Zayn said, handing the paper back to me and running a hand through his hair. “I can understand why you would need to leave.”

“I couldn’t keep splitting you guys up.” I said, sitting on my bed. He sat down next to me. “How has everything been?”

“Busy.” He said. “After the concert in Wolverhampton, we recorded a single, and set a release date. Then we had interviews and days and days of promotion. We also recorded some other songs for the album that we’re working on. It’s set to be released in November, but don’t tell anyone. That’s a secret. It’s been almost a year since we met. Isn’t that strange to think about? Especially thinking about everything that’s happened.”

“Time goes so fast.” I said. He nodded.

“Louis and Liam have been messes since you left.” He said. “But they’re starting to get better, I think. Well, at least Louis is. He’s been talking with this girl, Eleanor. I think they’re dating now. You would like her. She’s really nice, and she makes him very happy. Liam, though. Liam is a completely different story. I know that he was a dick, but he really does care about you and he does love you. Danielle broke up with him, you know.”

“No. I didn’t know that.”

“She knew he loved you, and she got sick of it. She’s a little high maintenance.”

“I noticed.”

“He really misses you.” Zayn said softly, touching my shoulder and looking at me. “He wakes up crying at night, and everything. He says ‘I really fucked up’ a lot, too.”

I rubbed my eyes and laid back on my bed. Liam was hurting and it was my fault. Like everything was. I yelled at him for wanting to leave, and allowed myself to continue arguments with him instead of trying harder. My head and heart hurt so badly. You might think I’m stupid for wanting to be with him everything we had put each other through, but at the end of the day he was still my best friend, and I still loved and needed him. I still wanted him, and I would rather fight with him every day of my life than be with someone else.

“Don’t tell anyone that I’m here.” I said. “Please.”

“But we all missed you!” he protested. “All of us. Even Harry keeps running ‘round naked, hoping you’ll walk through the door.”

“Really?” I asked, not wanting a repeat of the Dirty Harry incident.

“Yeah.” He said, shaking his head and lying down next to me. “It’s a bit awkward. Anyway, I know that they’ll want to see you. Especially Liam and Louis.”

“They can’t know I’m here.” I said, shaking my head. “You can’t tell them, Jawaad. Promise me.”

“But, Tricia…” 

“Promise me, Zayn.” I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

“Can I come cuddle with you if I promise?” he asked. “I miss Leslie and I need a cuddle buddy.” He gave me the puppy dong eyes that he was so famous for and I smiled.

“You have to promise me.”

“I promise.”

 

I gave Zayn  my extra room key that night, and after that, when everyone had fallen asleep, he would come and stay with me in my room. It had fallen back into the same routine that the two of us had had during the X Factor house, except most of the time we didn’t sleep, and he was always gone when I woke up. We only fell asleep after we were so exhausted from talking and laughing that we couldn’t keep our eyes open. I had missed him.

“The boys are getting suspicious.” He said one night a we watched a movie. “They think I have a lady friend. I’ve gotten several lectures involving different ways they will cut my dick off if they find out I am ‘cheating’ on Leslie. Even though I’m not. I’m just here with my best friend. That’s not a crime.”

“How do they know?” I asked him as John Cusack slipped a noose around his neck in ‘Better Off Dead’. He then proceeded to decide he didn’t want to kill himself and his mother hit him with a vacuum cleaner, and he dangled in the air for a few moments.

“I accidentally took the wrong key card out yesterday.” He muttered. “They’re going to find out sooner or later, you know.”

“Let’s hope it’s later.”

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

The ‘later’ came sooner that I thought. It was the night after Zayn had told me about the boy’s suspicions when I heard the quiet knock on the door. Zayn never knocked, he just came in, so I was curious and I stood up. Then the door started to open a little and in walked Harry Edward Styles.

“Oh my god!” he said, running across the room to give me a hug. Niall followed closely behind him, and they tackled me onto the bed.

“Hi guys.” I said with a laugh.

“Young lady.” Harry said in a stern voice. “Where have you been?! I didn’t even get to _see_ you in Wolverhampton. I just walked into the dressing room to find Louis crying and Liam clutching his side.”

“Yeah, seriously.” Niall said. “I knew you had been there when I saw how bruised Liam’s face was. He deserved that.”

“Of course he did. He outed your ‘relations’ on national radio!” Harry said.

“Louis cried?” I asked softly. They both nodded.

“He and Liam have both been in a right state since you’ve gone. Niall thought you died!”

“I did not!” Niall protested.

“You wanted to call the Police!” Harry said back.

“For the first day, maybe.” Niall said. “Why did you leave us?”

“I had to do what I thought was right.” I said. I was tired of explaining the story, but I knew that I was going to have to explain a few more times before I was done. Now that three of them knew I was here, it was only a matter of time before one of them let something slip by accident. None of them would say anything on purpose.

“Liam cries at night, you know.” Niall said quietly. “And he says that he fucked up a lot too.”

“Zayn told me.” I said. My heart still hurt every time someone told me how bad Liam was hurting. “You can’t tell them that I’m here. Promise me.”

“Promise.” Harry said.

“Promise.” Niall added. Then there was a knock on the door.

“Alright, lads. Open the door.” An all too familiar voice said. “The game is up. We know you’ve got a girl in there and It’s time to face the music.”

“It’s Liam.” Niall whispered. I dove for the bathroom and slammed the door shut, not ready to face this. “Harry! What do we do?!”

“Open the door you potato!” Harry whispered.

“You open it!” Niall said back. “Or I’ll tell the press you run ‘round naked!”

“Fine!” Harry shouted in a whisper. I heard the door open, and then there were four voices in the room.

“Come on, lads.” Louis’ voice said. “You know it’s not right to cheat on your girlfriends.”

“We weren’t.” Niall said. I opened the door a crack so I could see what was happening. Liam and Louis had stepped into the room, and the second I saw their faces every feeling I had ever had for them rushed back in a series of flashbacks and tears. Louis looked the same, but Liam had let his hair stay curly instead of straightening it. I knew that it would make him look so much more attractive.“We were just here.”

“Then why do you look so flustered?” Liam asked.

“Because we weren’t expecting you to come to the door!” Harry said.

“Because you were snogging another girl!” Louis said. It was nice that he and Liam were on the same side again.

“That’s not true!” Niall said.

“Well.” Liam stooped to pick something up off the floor. He held it up and I realized that it was the bra I had been wearing earlier in the day. I hadn’t thrown it in my suitcase. “It certainly looks like there’s a girl here.”

“It’s not what it looks like.” Niall said in a fluster. I was getting the two of them into trouble without intending too, so I had to do something to stop it. I looked at myself in the mirror and messed up my hair a little before fixing it again, and then I took a deep breath. I was about to face my boyfriend and my ex…whatever he was… again.

“Wait.” Liam said. I saw him reach onto my night stand. “I gave this to Tricia…” he said, trailing off.

Shit.

He had found the song.

“Is Tricia here?” he demanded. Niall and Harry glanced at each other, not saying anything. “Is she?!” he demanded a little louder.

“Would you please quiet down?” Harry said. “You’ll wake the whole bloody state.”

“Tell me if she’s here!” Liam said, shaking the paper. Niall and Harry looked a little scared. I could imagine why. Liam was never as crazed as he was now. Never.

“Calm down, mate.” Louis said. “Maybe that’s not the paper.”

“No, it is.” Liam said. “It’s my writing. I gave this to her in Wolverhampton. She wouldn’t have just given it away. I know she wouldn’t.”

“What is it?” Louis said quietly. “On the paper. What is it?”

“A song.” Liam muttered. “I want to put it on the album, but it’s really personal.”

“Hey, lads.” Zayn said, entering the room. It was like a damn reunion. “What have you got there, Liam?”

“A song I wrote for Tricia.” Liam said. “I think I want it on the album, but I was telling these guys that it’s really personal.”

“The personal ones are always the best.” Zayn said. “Why don’t you sing it for us?”

“I don’t think so.” Liam said, shaking his head. 

“Come on, mate.” Louis said. “Just sing it.”

Liam closed his eyes and took a breath. “I’m broken… do you hear me? I’m blinded, cause you are everything I see…”

The pain was clear in his voice as he sang the words that he had written for me. I slid down the wall of the bathroom, and hid my face in my hands, willing the tears not to fall, but failing as his voice continued to pierce my ears.

“Then Harry comes in.” Liam muttered, showing the chorus to Harry, I assumed. Harry started singing with the same tone of voice. “Then Niall.” Liam said as the next verse started.

“If I’m louder…” Niall sang. I had memorized the words, but hearing them sing it was completely different from repeating the words in my head over and over again.

“Then Louis.” Liam said when Niall’s part was over.

“And when I see you on the street, in his arms, I get weak, my body fails, I’m on my knees, prayin’.” Louis sang. Then the five of them repeated the chorus and tears streaked down my face. The pain. It hurt my heart so much. I couldn’t believe that I had put him through so much hurt.

“Zayn.” Liam said. 

“I’ve never had the words to say, but now I’m asking you to stay, for a little while inside my arms.” Zayn sang. After his verse was over and they sang the chorus again, there were expressions of praise from the boys before they decided to break and go to sleep. Zayn, Niall and Harry left first, and then Liam made his way to the door.

“Liam.” Louis said quietly. Liam stopped. “You really love her, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Liam said. “I really do.”

“Then be with her.” Louis said. “But Liam, if you hurt her again, I swear I will kill you. That’s not a threat. That’s a promise.”

Louis left the room, and Liam stood there for a moment, looking about the room for a moment. Then he too left, letting the paper flutter to the floor.

 

Chapter Nineteen

 

Now that Liam and Louis had a general idea that I was in the hotel, there was no point for me to try and hide anymore. So I didn’t. I wandered around the hotel, not caring if they spotted me or not. Zayn still came to my room at night, and we made plans to go to Universal Studios together on one of the days that they had off. He said they had been planning o going anyway. Apparently, Zayn had also been begging them to go to Harry Potter World, so we picked a day and we said we would meet up.

It was nice the day we had decided t go. The weather was absolutely beautiful, and since I already had my ticket into the park, I didn’t have to wait in line for anything. It wasn’t very busy either, because it was January, and most of the kids were still in school, unless they were tourists from out of the country. It was good for me, and the boys, because they weren’t exactly worldwide yet, so there was less of a chance of them being spotted.

 

Jawaad:

Where r u @?

 

He really needed to learn good grammar. I really hated when people used short hand, and he knew it, but he was able to get away with it. I texted him back quickly, and told him that I was almost at the front gate of the Harry Potter section, and then I wandered a little farther down the path to the gate. It had a sign hanging from it that said “Respect the Spell Limit” and my heart stopped when I looked beyond the gate. I’m sure that I looked like quite an idiot when I looked at the massive castle, thrusting into the clear blue sky. I was home.

“Tricia!” I heard from behind me. I turned to see Zayn standing there with the other boys. Louis and Liam’s eyes went wide from shock, like they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Then, Louis opened up his arms and I ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck.

“Hey.” He said as I pulled away.

“Hi.” I said back, he smiled, and then Liam cleared his throat. I looked at him and he was holding his arms out to me. I jumped into his arms and hid my face in his neck as every feeling I had ever had for him came rushing back as I breathed in his sweet smelling cologne.

“I missed you.” He whispered to me. My eyes burned. “I missed you so much.”

“No more fighting.” I said to him, my voice muffled by his neck. “Please no more fighting. I can’t take it anymore.”

“No more fighting.” He agreed, then I pulled away.

“Let’s go in the castle!” Harry said excitedly. Being from London definitely made this more special for us. London and England was basically the birthplace of Harry Potter, and seeing the castle made it even more real for us. Especially for me. I felt like I was home.

We went through the castle, standing in line for the Forbidden Journey motion simulator ride, and I was so excited that I couldn’t stand still. Liam wrapped his arms around my waist in an attempt to keep me still, but soon gave up.

“I can’t believe he broke up with Danielle Peazer for _her_.” I heard from my left. “Liam, I mean. He was stupid for letting her go.”

“Ignore them.” Liam said into my ear. He then turned. “Hello, girls.” He said brightly.

“Omigod.” One of the girls said. She was blonde, sun-tanned and beautiful. The complete opposite of me. “Liam Payne.”

“What’s going on?” Zayn said to me. I shrugged.

I was sure that the two girls were going to pass out when they realized that not one, but all five members of One Direction were standing within thirty feet of them. I think Liam was trying to teach them a lesson. I just wasn’t sure what it was. Probably something about minding their own business.

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t discuss my relationships so openly.” He said.  
“Especially when you only know what is on the surface. I did not break up with Danielle. She broke up with me. You don’t know anything.”

I shook my head, and walked ahead, wanting to put distance between us so I didn’t get recognized and harassed. I had had enough of that when I had broken up with Louis. I only got on a computer one time to check on my Tumblr, which I had made during the X Factor, and I saw all of the hate messages in my ask box. Louis caught up with me quickly, though, and soon we were chatting about everything and anything.

“I heard you’re dating someone.” I said, casually. “I’m happy for you. You’re so happy, now. It’s nice to see you that way.

“She’s really great.” He said with a smile, nodding his head. “I’m sorry that I started dating again so quickly…”

“Louis, I’m not hurt by you dating again.” I said, putting my hand on his arm. “I already said that I was happy for you, and I really, truly am.”

And I was. The last few months of our relationship, he looked and acted miserable because I was miserable. He needed someone that would make him happy all of the time, and Eleanor Calder gave him that. I really was happy for him.

“You deserve someone who makes you as happy as she does, Lou.” I said, squeezing his arm gently. “You do. And she seems amazing.”

“She is.” He said, looking down at his feet with a smile. 

“Look…”  I said as we stood outside by the greenhouse. Liam had been chatting up the girls he had reprimanded for discussing his relationship since we ran into them. “I know that a lot has happened.”

“Yeah.” He said, quietly.

“Do you think we can be friends again?” I asked him. “I miss you. I miss talking with you about things that don’t makes sense. I miss giving you books to read. I miss you telling me that everything is going to be okay, even when I think everything is going to come apart at the seams. I just miss you.”

He pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around me tight and I hid my face in his shoulder, not wanting to break.

“I really did love you, you know.” He muttered. “I want you in my life, Tricia. As friends, or otherwise.”

“Really?” I pulled away. He nodded, and I smiled. Just before we got onto the ride, I turned to him, catching his wrist in my hand. He locked his eyes on mine. “I really did love you too, Louis. I truly did.”

 

Chapter Twenty

 

That night, I had a dream. It was a flashback, which was something that I had never experienced before, and it was a memory that I had thought I had forgotten. It left me broken, with tears stains on my cheeks in the morning. I didn’t know that it was possible to cry while you were asleep.

 

_Louis had a weekend off once, while we were still dating, so he invited me down to his flat in London for the weekend. Harry had gone home to Cheshire to see his mum, and Louis was glad to have the flat to himself. He did tell me, though, that he missed his mother and sisters very badly. He always that that his mum told him that he was her best friend and he would get really sad when he talked about her. He always said he couldn’t imagine how hard it was for her being alone while he was out having fun and being busy all of the time. I could only imagine how hard it was. I sort of knew how she felt though, because my five best friends were always gone. I had met his mum and sisters a few times, and they were lovely. I hated to think of his mum missing him, too._

_I was lounging on his couch in a pair of his pajama bottoms, flipping through a magazine when I heard a crash from the kitchen. I jumped, not expecting it, and I heard him curse. He had agreed to making dinner for the two of us that night, because it was special. It was our anniversary. I had lost track of the months, now. I only knew the day._

_I stood up and walked into the kitchen, and the first thing I noticed was that the contents of a salad were all over the floor. He looked angry with himself._

_“Pizza sounds good, too.” I said, smiling. He looked at me._

_“But I wanted to cook for you.” He said._

_“I am very proud of you for that.” I said. “But as we both can see, that was an absolute disaster.”_

_“So…pizza?” he asked_

_“Pizza.” I said, smiling. He walked over to me and smiled, wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed my lips gently._

_“I love you.” He said with a smile. He had only said it a few times, and every time he said it, I knew that he meant it. I also knew that I loved him. Hell, the second I laid eyes on him, I knew that I was in trouble. I knew, even then that I was going to fall for him, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself._

_“I love you too.” I said with a smile. He kissed my lips again, and then he went to ring the pizza shop._

 

But from there, the dream began to change. It wasn’t the same as the memory that I had. The memory that I had was that Louis and I completely forgot about the pizza after we ate one slice and went to the bedroom. I also remember him saying “Let’s skip dinner and go right to desert” and then carrying me to his room. But the dream didn’t show that. The dream was completely different.

In the dream, Liam was the pizza delivery man, and he asked me to leave with him. That led into another fight, this time, physical, and he kept saying “get over her, Louis! She loves ME, not you!” and that he knew what he was saying was true. I woke up crying, because in the dream, Louis ended up with a broken jaw, and Liam left me to deal with it, and Louis was clearly upset with me. He was crying, and he locked me out of the flat, leaving me on my own until Zayn showed up, unannounced, to take me home. I hadn’t had that bad of a dream in a long time. Some of the things that Liam had said were just awful. It was like he had reverted to his asshole self.

The second I got out of bed, I started packing. Being around them had brought the dream on, and I had to go. I couldn’t let it go back to how it was before. I was the one who had the power to prevent that, and I was going to use it.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asked. I hadn’t heard him come in.

“Going home.” I said, throwing clothes into my suitcase.

“Did something happen?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“It’s what’s going to happen.” I said. “If I stay it’s going to go back to how it was, and I can’t let that happen. I need to go. Now.”

“Things are better, now that you’re here.” Zayn said. I zipped my suitcase.

“Just let me go, Zayn.” I said, picking up my bag. “Please.”

“If this is what you want.” 

“It is.” I lied. I wanted nothing more than to stay, but I had to prevent what was going to happen. “My plane leaves in two hours. I have to go.”

He hugged me. “Call me when you land, please.” He said. “I can’t stand not knowing what’s happening with you. I’m not going to lose you again, got it?”

I nodded, and then went down to the front of the hotel so I could check out, and get a cab to the airport. I was in such a hurry, that I didn’t even see Liam come in from the pool and start to make his way towards me. 

 

I was sitting in the airport within the hour, reading a magazine, but not really reading it. I saw the words, and took them in, but I didn’t take in anymore meaning then I did when I bought the magazine. It had Kim Kardashian on the cover, surprise, surprise. I flipped the pages absently, and then my flight number was called. I stood, stuffing the magazine into my rucksack, not believing that I was actually going to do this, and I took my ticket out. This time, though, it was for good.

I stood in line, at the very end, wanting to prolong this for as long as I could, and to give myself time to back out. I was the last one up to the podium, and just as I was handing the woman my boarding pass, I heard someone call my name, and turned to see Liam, running through security to get to me. He slowed down when he noticed that I saw him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him. He doubled over to catch his breath.

“I want to be with you.” He said, standing to his full height. “Don’t go. Stay here with me. Be my girlfriend. Stay with me.”

“I can’t.” I said, not fully registering what he was saying. “I have to go.”

“Tricia.” He said, catching my hand as I turned. My body was instantly flooded with heat from his touch. “I love you. I love the way you look in the morning when your hair is a mess and your eyes are full of sleep. I love that, despite everything I’ve put you through, you still tried to be my friend, and even though I ruined your relationship, you still called me your friend. Be my girlfriend, Tricia, because the last time you turned your back on me, and I let you go, all I could think about was how bad I messed things up, and how, if I had the chance to go back and do it over, I would have made you mine the day I left for _X Factor._ ”

“Liam –”

“I want to be with you.” He continued, cutting across me. “Tricia, I want to be yours. Only yours. I want you to yell at me, and call me an idiot when I do something wrong, and then have make up sex to settle the score. I want to cuddle with you, and watch _Toy Story_ with you… I want you to be my girlfriend. Please, Tricia.” He had tears in his eyes.

“Miss.” The woman at the podium said. “Are you getting on the plane?”

“I’m sorry.” Liam said, his tears falling freely. “For everything.” His voice cracked. “I’m sorry for not telling you about the audition, I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to be with me and started dating Danielle. I’m sorry I pretended you didn’t exist, and I’m sorry that I was too stupid to realize what I want and need has been right here the whole time. I’m sorry. I just want you to be mine, and I want to be yours…Please.”

“Miss.” The woman said. “The captain has to close the cabin door.”

I looked from her to Liam, who reached for my other hand. His tears fell freely as his eyes burned into mine.

“I have to go.” I said, quietly. And then I walked away.

 

Chapter Twenty One

 

I sat down in my seat on the plane, and let the tears loose.  Wiped my eyes, and put in my head phones, letting Katy Perry fill my ears with Teenage Dream. It was one of my favorites, and it reminded me of how Liam made me feel. I wiped my eyes again.

His words were echoing inside my head. He wanted to be with me. The sincerity in his voice made me believe him. I wanted to be with him so badly that it physically hurt me to be away from him, now. After everything that we had been through in the past year, I still loved him. I still wanted him… I still needed him.

“You need to turn that off.” A flight attendant said to me, taking an earbud out of my ear.

“I need to get off the plane.” I said, trying to stand. She pushed me back into my seat.

“The cabin door has been closed.” She said with a fake smile. “No one enters or exits the plane unless there is an emergency.”

“You don’t understand!” I said, frantically. “I _need_ to get off the plane!”

“You don’t understand that no one can leave!” she said, still keeping her fake smile.

“I’m on the wrong flight!” I shouted, trying to make any excuse I could so she would let me off the plane. Liam was probably already gone. “Please!”

“You English people think that the world revolves around you!” she said. “Well guess what?! It doesn’t! So you need to sit down and shut up!”

“Why don’t you just let her off the plane?” The guy sitting next to me said. He gave me a knowing smile. Until that point, I hadn’t realized that we had gained an audience. “Obviously she has somewhere more important to be.”

“The cabin door has been—”

“Just let her off the plane!” A woman a few rows behind me said.

“Yeah, let her off the plane!” Another man said.

 

**_Liam’s POV_ **

 

“I really lost her this time.” I said to myself, laying back on my bed in my hotel suite as tears streaked out of my eyes. I didn’t deserve her. Not after everything that I put her through. ‘Could have, would have, should have’ was how to describe everything. I should have made her mine when I had had the chance, then none of this would have happened. Then we both could have been together and happy.

I pulled my toy Woody to my chest, and hugged it tight. It had been about two hours since she had left, and that made me wonder where she was. Probably somewhere near New York, by now. Or flying across the massive cock-block that was the Atlantic Ocean. I sighed. After she got back to London, I would probably never see her again. I wiped my eyes.

“She’s gone.” I muttered. Then I heard a knock on the door. I was hoping that it was Zayn. I needed someone that I could confide in, and share my pain with, or else my heart was going to fall out of my chest in a shattered, bloody mess.

The person knocked again and I got up, unlocking the door and opening it. My jaw dropped when I saw Tricia standing there with tears in her eyes.

“I couldn’t go.” She said. Her voice cracked. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”

I pulled her into my arms and she hid her face in my chest. I kissed the top of her head softly.

 

**_Tricia’s POV_ **

 

After the whole plane took my side, the flight attendant had no choice, and let me off. Once I was off the plane, I didn’t even care about getting my luggage back. I just needed to get to Liam. So I got a cab back to the hotel, and snuck up to his room, pretending that I was with a family that had just checked in. I ran up the stairs and found his room, taking a deep breath before I knocked. After a few minutes, there was no answer, so I knocked again, fully prepared to wait outside his room until he came back. I heard footsteps shuffling around the room and then the door opened and my eyes instantly filled with tears. I don’t know how I even considered leaving him.

“I couldn’t go.” I said. My voice cracked. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”

He pulled me into his arms and I hid my face in his chest, feeling his lips brush the top of my head gently. He slid his hands down my back, lifting me up by my thighs, and kicked the door shut behind him as he carried me over to his bed. He laid down and pulled me close, tracing over my back.

“We’re really going to do this.” He said quietly, kissing my lips. Once. Twice. Again. “We’re really going to be together.” He kissed me again. “No one else, just you and me. No lies, or fights, or break ups. Just you and me.”

“Yes.”

He rolled so I was underneath him, and lifted his chest off of me, balancing his weight on his forearms.

“I have waited so long to hear you say that.” He muttered, kissing my lips softly. I kissed him back as he trailed his lips down my neck. I wrapped my arms around him tight, and tilted my head a little.

“I’m sorry.” I said as he slid one of his hands under my shirt and traced around my skin softly. “I was horrible to you. Absolutely horrible.” 

“I deserved it.” He said, brushing my hair out of my face. I unbuttoned his shirt slowly. “I was a bit of a dick.”

“Just a bit.” I said, smiling and running my hands up his chest and through his hair. “I knew your hair would look better like this.” I said, toying with his curls and kissing the birthmark in the hollow of his throat gently.

“I just don’t want to be confused with Justin Bieber anymore.” 

“I could never confuse you with Justin Bieber.” I said, smiling and sliding his shirt off of his shoulders. “Now, Liam Payne, though… I might have a bit of trouble there. You look just like him.”

“Mm..yeah.” he said as I slid my hands down his back and he captured my lips with his. I kissed him back, and he slid my shirt up cover of  around my stomach. He kissed down my stomach softly and started to pull my sweatpants down as I pulled on his hair gently. He tossed the pants aside, sliding his hands down my legs and I moaned.

“Can we just cuddle?” I muttered as he kissed his way up to my lips slowly.

He pulled the blankets around us and pulled me close.

 

Chapter Twenty Two

 

When we got back to London, rumors were already circulating about the two of us. People had been selling photographs of us to the magazines, and we were on the cover of seemingly every gossip mag in the country. Many of the rumors were about me being pregnant, even though that was far from the truth. Louis and Eleanor were also a hot topic amongst fans. It seemed as though their relationships were more important than anything. Except for the release date of their album, and the filming of their documentary “A Year in the Making”. 

Unfortunately, when we got back to London, again, I was without them more than I was with them. They started travelling almost the second they got back, and just when I thought I knew they schedule, they were gone again and something new was added. Leslie spent many nights at my house, being from a town away, it was easier for her to get here. Until the X Factor started again, she had free time. She missed Zayn as much as I missed Liam, so it was nice to have her around. Taiylor lived in London, which was four hours away, or else we would have let her join the pity party, and Eleanor didn’t like me very much. I was happy that Louis was happy, though.

Another unfortunate thing, was that the new season of _X Factor_ was starting soon, so I was going to be on my own while the boys were busy. Mum had been offered a job as chef again, and she told me I could stay home, or in a flat in the complex that Liam lived in. That was a very easy decision. All it took was a call to Simon, and I had a flat. I didn’t know that a few days after we returned from Florida, they released their first single. Liam never told me, he just let me find it on iTunes, and then I looked for their album, which was already slated for preorder. I didn’t even know anything about it.

 

 

Liam <3

Interview in ten on iTV2

 

I smiled and turned on my TV, luckily it was already on iTV2 because of a show that I had been watching earlier. The minutes went by quickly, and soon there was a change in music, and my boys were on the screen. Their single was playing as they settled down in their chairs that were on the stage. Liam and Louis sat next to each other, and Liam put his arm around Louis’ shoulders. Seeing that made me so happy.

“So you’ve got girlfriends, yes?” the interviewer said. I sighed. Always the relationship questions.

“Yeah.” Zayn said, nodding.

“How’s that working?” the interviewer said. “I know that Liam is dating Louis’ ex.”

“Yeah.” Liam said. “Louis and I already discussed it. We’re fine. Brothers don’t let girlfriends get in the way.” 

“That’s good.” The interviewer said. “So you’re all happy.”

“Yeah.” Harry said. “We’re all absolutely crazy about our girls.”

“But especially Liam.” Niall said with a laugh. Liam’s face got all red, and he looked at his shoes with a big, dopey smile making its way across his face. “He’s got it bad.”

“As you can see,” Zayn “They’re in the honeymoon phase.”

“With everything we’ve been through,” Liam said. “I’d say it’s more like the ‘been married twenty years’ phase. And don’t even talk to me about ‘the honeymoon phase’ you and Leslie are just as bad!”

“That’s not true!” Zayn said with a laugh. The other boys nodded, agreeing with Liam. “What about Niall and Taiylor? They’re worse!”

“I’ll agree with you on that!” Liam said, still laughing. “But really, everything is great with us. Tricia makes me very happy, and she is my best friend. I’d love to settle down with her. I love her very much.”

“I can tell that you’re all in love.” The interviewer said. “Your faces light up when you talk about your girlfriends… now, Liam.. your girlfriend is the one Louis dated, yes?”

“Yeah.” Louis said. His voice was a little sad, but he smiled. “She’s a great friend, now. My best friend, actually. She’s great, and I’m truly happy for her and Liam.”

“And you all met your girlfriends through the _X Factor_?”

“No.” Liam said, shaking his head. “Harry’s got a girlfriend from home, Tricia is from home, and Louis met Eleanor at… Hollister, right?”

“Yeah, Hollister.” Louis said with a nod. “She hadn’t even heard of us. Didn’t even know who I was.” he added, laughing. “She’s a great girl.”

“So Niall and Zayn met their girlfriends at the _X Factor_? How did that work out?” the interviewer asked. They wanted to know so many details.

“Taiylor was a contestant.” Niall said. “And we hit it off right away. Took me a while to ask her out, though. But.. here we are. A year later.”

“And Leslie was a stylist.” Zayn said. “Our stylist, actually. Fell for her right off. It took a while, but she came around. She was most worried about the age difference, I think. Understandable, but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t look past.”

“I’m glad that you’re all happy.” The interviewer said. “And remember girls, they’re all taken! I could have sworn I saw a sign that said ‘Harry, give me some of your gravy!’ as I was walking into the studio.” 

Harry went red and looked down as the other boys started laughing hysterically.

“So, you’ve just released your single…”

Then the rest of the interview was focused on the boys and the tour and talking about an album. I was so extremely proud at that moment, and I could see their phones sticking out of their pockets, so I sent them each a text message for them to read as soon as they were done.

 

Liam <3

Come to my flat. 7pm. Love you.

 

I smiled as the interview turned back on. He must have snuck off to the loo during the commercial so he could send the text. I turned the volume on my telly up, and then I began packing an overnight bag. When I was finished, I sat on my bed, and waited. It was nearly seven by the time I had finished, and I was excited for a night with my boys.

 

“We’re working on our thank you’s for the album.” Harry said as I settled into the couch next to Liam. He put his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Leslie had her back against Zayn’s knees, and was sitting on the floor, flipping through a magazine absently.

“Can I see?” I asked, trying to read Liam’s. He snatched them away from me and Taiylor laughed from her spot on the love seat. Her feet were in Niall’s lap. Aimee looked up from her notebook at the pair of us. Eleanor was the only one missing. Probably because she knew I was going to be there.

“When the album is released.” He said with a smile, kissing my lips gently. “I promise you can read them then.”

I smiled, and the boys put their papers in a yellow envelope. It had a giant seal on the back, and it had it had “Confidential” written on it in red, as well as Simon’s name. Harry put the envelope into his rucksack, and I knew that there was no chance of me getting to see them until November, when the album was due to be released. Liam kissed me softly again, and then Louis turned on the TV.

“We have a performance tomorrow.” Liam said. “Our first performance of ‘What Makes You Beautiful’. Will you come?”

“Of course I will.” I said with a smile.

 

Chapter Twenty Three

 

The studio where Red and Black was being filmed was the same studio where the X Factor was shot. For the boys, it was like a home coming. The place had so many memories, and it was where they got their start. So they were all really excited to perform there. Liam had been singing the song while he was in the shower that morning. I made him pancakes and sang along, trying to remember how many times I had heard the song by that morning. The boys had sang it about three times before we split up for the night, and Liam sang it to me as I fell asleep, wearing nothing but his sweater.

Mum had come out for the performance, and I couldn’t wait to see her. I had called her plenty of times, but calling wasn’t the same as seeing her. So when we finally got to the arena, I sought her out and ran into her arms, hugging her tightly. I think she might have been crying, and I was close to tears myself.

“Are you watching from backstage?” mum said. I shook my head. I had chosen to watch from the audience. She smiled. “How are things with Liam?”

“They couldn’t be any better.” I said with a smile. “He is absolutely wonderful. I love him so much, mum.”

“That’s my boy.” She said. “I knew from the moment Karen and I brought you two together you had something special.”

“I want to marry him, mum.” I said.

“You will. One day.” She said.

 

I knew when the lights went down that it was time for them to come on stage. The fans let out a massive scream, and I grinned from my seat in the front row. I was sitting with a few girls who had recognized me and were absolutely lovely.

“Now for the first time ever…” the announcer said. “One Direction!”

The crowd was deafening as the boys walked out on stage. I almost began crying right there. They had come so far in less than a year. I was so proud to say that I was with them through it all, and they were all my best friends. The music started, and I almost got up out of my seat to start dancing. I couldn’t even contain my excitement for them.

“You’re insecure.” Liam began, grinning and looking all around the crowd. He spotted me, and his grin got wider as they began to jump around on stage. they were so happy to be there, and I knew how much they were enjoying it.

Then Harry’s solo came. He had been nervous about it, so when he was out of breath and couldn’t sing it straight through, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Even watching the rest of the performance, I knew that he wasn’t right. He looked really upset with himself, and I wanted to go hug him. The only problem was that I couldn’t just run onstage and hug him. I would have to wait. You wouldn’t have even known he messed up if you didn’t know him.

The audience went crazy after they finished the song, and they stood on stage, taking it in for a moment. I snapped a picture, and sent it to twitter,

 

triciamorrison: my boys! :) so proud of them! yfrog.com/1f5lvz

 

Then, I had a good idea.

 

triciamorrison: #HarryStyleLightsUpTheWorld! Trend it, Directioners! Xx

 

No sooner had I sent the trend, the tweets and RT’s came rolling in. I smiled to myself, hoping that it would make him feel better. Everyone knew Harry performed brilliantly. He just needed to see it too.

I went backstage after that, slipping my phone into my pocket, and pulling my credential out from under my shirt. I had had so many credentials from the X Factr, and concerts, that the boys had all pitched in and bought me a custom lanyard for a gift. It was silver, with letter beads that spelled out “One Direction” on either side, and then their names as well. They had bought it for me with their signing bonus. I hadn’t worn it in so long, but the weight of it was still so comfortable around my neck.

Backstage it was all hugs and kisses. Eleanor was there, she had taken the day off work for the performance, Taiylor, Leslie and Aimee were all there too. Aimee was a sweet girl, but she was the only one who wasn’t celebrating. I didn’t see Harry either, and I was about to go try and find him when I felt Liam hook his arms around my waist and pull me close.

“You were incredible!” I said happily as he kissed my lips. “That was so amazing!”

“I’m really happy with it.” He said, grinning from ear to ear. “I just have so much energy!”

“I can only imagine.” I said, grinning broadly. I was feeding off of his energy. He pulled me close, leaning down to my ear.

“We’re going to be up all night.” He said in a seductive tone. I giggled. For some reason he was the only one who could make me giggle like a school girl. I pulled away from him to kiss his lips, and then his face fell.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Harry thinks that he let us all down.” He said, resting his forehead on mine. “He thinks he messed everything up. But he didn’t.”

“I’m trying to do something about that.” I said with a smile. “Check the TT’s on Twitter.”

He pulled out his phone and navigated to Twitter quickly.

“HarryStylesLightsUpTheWorld!” he read off. “Did you start this?”

I nodded.

“That’s brilliant!” he said, kissing my lips again and smiling. I grinned and kissed his lips again, and then we want to find my mother. We said goodbye, nearly crying, and then Liam brought me back to his flat.

“You’re amazing.” He said, kissing my neck softly. “You know that, right? You’re always trying to make others happy, and you do the right thing… you’re just amazing.”

“If you think so.”

“I don’t. I know it.”

 

Chapter Twenty Four

 

I felt him before I saw him. He was tracing up and down my back softly, slowly, and his warm breath was on my neck. He kissed my shoulder gently, his lips like feathers on my skin. 

“Tricia.” he said softly. "Baby..wake up." he kissed my neck again and started running his hands up and down my back slowly. I bit back a moan, wanting to stay in this perfection and bliss. Just for a little bit longer.

He kissed my shoulder again and I smiled, keeping the blanket around me tight as I turned to face him. He pulled me close, and I smiled, kissing his lips.

“Good morning.” He said, kissing my neck slowly.

“Mm..morning.” I said, tilting my head a little. He crawled on top of me, letting me feel all of his body, and none of his weight.

“I have the day off today.” He muttered, attacking my neck with kissed again. I wrapped my arms under his and tangled my hands into his hair.

“You also have sex hair.” I muttered, pulling his hair softly. He moaned.

“Someone pulled on it, all night last night.” He said, kissing across my collarbone. As he trailed his lips lower, he pulled the blankets down until I was fully exposed to him and he was kissing my hip bones. I pulled his hair, sharply again and he moaned softly. Then he began kissing his way back to my lips slowly.

“I wonder who that could have been.” I muttered as he slipped his hand between my legs. That drove me crazy, and he knew it.

“Whoever it was likes to scratch me as well.” He muttered, tracing around me softly. “My back looks like it got in a fight with a cat.”

“Liam…don’t tease me.” I muttered. “Take me.”

 

He moaned when I dug my nails into his back, and he slid my leg higher around my waist, rocking into me hard.

“Liam…” I moaned into his ear. He kissed my neck softly and laid still for a minute, resting his forehead on my shoulder. Then he picked up a slow pace again.

“Are you close?” he breathed into my ear. I moaned in return, and after a few minutes all I saw were stars. My eyes closed and my body tensed around him, pulling him so close that I didn’t know where one of us ended and the other began. It felt so good, so impossibly good.

“I love you.” He moaned into my ear before letting go. He moaned, and I arched my back, trying to pull him closer, even though that was physically impossible.

He collapsed on top of me slowly, resting his forehead on my shoulder again, and I moaned. I closed my eyes, and started to play with his hair weakly. He kissed my shoulder, and his phone began beeping from the night stand.

“Should you get that?” I asked him.

“Probably.” He said. Then he reached over onto his nightstand and felt around for his phone. He unlocked it, and scrolled through his text messages. He sighed. “You’re going to hate me.” he said, putting his phone down and kissing my neck.

“What’s going on?” I asked him as he kissed my neck again.

“Simon.” He said softly. He rolled off of me and picked his boxers up off of the floor. I pulled the blankets around my chest and sat up against the headboard.

“What?” I asked him as he walked over to the closet. He pulled out a blue plaid shirt and put it on, turning to face me.

“He called a meeting with our management this afternoon.” He glanced at the clock. “An hour from now, actually. He wants to talk about bonus tracks for the deluxe version. We also have to sign copies of it for contest winners and such.”

“That doesn’t sound like an off day to me.” I said with a smile.

He put on a tan pair of trousers and smiled at me, crawling up the bed towards me and kissing my lips softly.

“We were supposed to do this tomorrow. And then do a radio show, but I guess he wants us to have a long weekend or something.”

“Can I come with you?” I asked him with a smile.

“I can ask Simon.” He said. “But everything that you hear has to be kept a secret. You can’t say anything to anyone.”

“You guys are the only people I am friends with. Who am I going to tell?”

 

I was allowed into the meeting, but I sort of sat in the corner and listened, updating my Twitter feed and checking my mentions once in a while, being careful not to say anything. Mostly I just replied to the fans who had been tweeting me. A lot of them were so sweet, but some of them were hurtful, telling me that they liked Danielle better. I just ignored those and replied to the nice ones.

 

@danixpayne: @triciamorrison can you share your boyfriend with me?

 

I smiled and thought about it before I came up with the perfect most true answer I could.

 

@triciamorrison: @danixpayne I share him with all of the directioners, so absolutely! Xx

 

I slipped my phone into my pocket after that and began to listen. They were discussing the track listing for the deluxe version of the album. They needed two bonus tracks for the Yearbook Edition.

“Moments, definitely.” Liam said. “I’m most proud of that song.”

The others nodded in agreement and Simon scribbled it onto a piece of paper.

“Stole my heart is another good one.” Niall said. 

“So the track list s set as well.” Simon said. “Now we have copies of the regular album downstairs for you guys to sign and wrap. Once the deluxe copies are done, we’ll have more for you to sign.”

“What d’you mean, wrap?” Zayn asked.

“Like gift wrap. For Christmas.” Simon said.

The boys all exchanged glances with each other, and grins broke out across their faces. I had a feeling at that second, it was going to be an extremely interesting day.

 

Chapter Twenty Five

 

The day that the album was released seemed to be the biggest day in history for the boys. Even bigger than the day that Kate Middleton and Prince William got married, and _that_ was a big day. That morning, Liam made me wake up extremely early because he couldn’t sleep any longer. While he was getting ready, I made him breakfast of pancakes and tea. When he came out of the shower, he was dressed to impress. I had never seen him looking so fit, mind you he always looked fit, but today he was looking extra fit.

“After the album is officially released, I am getting a haircut.” He said, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. I smiled and walked over to him, adjusting his tie and then tucking it under his gray vest. I fixed the collar of his white dress shirt, and slid my hands into the front pockets of his trousers. Even though he was wearing dark denim jeans he still looked dressed up.

“I like your hair.” I said. He kissed my lips.

“I want it shorter. It will look cleaner.”

“I’ll like it no matter what.” I said, kissing his lips again. “Now, come on. I made you breakfast.”

“You’re amazing.” He said with a smile.

“I had to do something while you were in the shower.”

 

We went down to Harry and Louis’ flat after Liam had finished his breakfast and I had gotten dressed. I was wearing a black dress that flowed down to my knees. Liam had bought it for me for Christmas and put a rose in the box. He knew that I had wanted the dress, and he had surprised me with it. He had gotten a day off, and he had come to visit me with the box in hand. I had given him a Tag Heure watch.

“You look great.” Louis said with a smile. I hugged him, looking him up and down and he kissed my cheek.

“You do too. Like I said, you clean up good, Tommo.” I said with a smile. Eleanor was at his arm quickly when I said that, and I smiled, going to sit by Liam, who was joking with Harry. Aimee hadn’t been able to make it for the first official Up All Night signing, and Harry was upset about it. He hadn’t been able to see her in quite some time. It must have been hard for him. Everyone else had their significant others with them, and he was alone.

We left to go to the record store at about three p.m.. The boys were scheduled for a signing that day, and it was exciting for me, because I could finally read Liam’s thank you’s.

When we got to the record store, we drove around to the back entrance of the shop, and walked through the store room. When I left Liam and made my way to the front of the store, the line went from the table where the boys were to the doorway and a little ways down the block. I must have searched the whole shop before I found what I was looking for. There was a rack of seven different editions of Up All Night. I ran over and grabbed two. I got one of the Yearbook edition, and one with that had a special cover of Liam. Then I made my way through the sea of girls to the cash register. I paid twenty Euros for both, and then I made my way to the back of the store again, joining Taiylor, Leslie, and Eleanor. They were standing, trying to chat over the sounds of all the girls who were screaming, squealing, laughing or crying.

“The rack of records is at the front of the store.” I said to them. “I can show you, if you want.”

“No, we can find it.” Eleanor said, just proving my point that she didn’t like me. Understandable, since I had both dated her boyfriend and slept with him on multiple occasions. But I hadn’t given her any other reason to dislike me. I was always nice to her. She just didn’t like me I don’t even want to think about what she would say if Louis told her about the two of us sleeping together.

I waved at Liam when I noticed him seeking me out, and he smiled. Then he got back to signing, hugging and taking pictures. A girl with an ‘I Love Harry Styles’ sweatshirt came down the line and she was in a right state. I thought she was going to completely fall apart when he told her that he liked her shirt. He gave her a hug and signed her CD, then he looked towards me, giving me a cheeky smile. I could tell this was cheering him up.

It seemed strange to me, though, to see girls who got this emotional over them. I guess it was because I had known them for so long, and so well. They were all my best friends, so I knew that I was going to see them and talk to them again the next day, but if I was only getting to meet them once, I might have had the same reaction. Or I might just be extremely quiet and not say anything. I don’t think I would have gotten on with any of them very well if I hadn’t had Liam, or my job at the _X Factor_. I hadn’t realized how lucky I was to have them in my life until that moment. I was the luckiest girl in the world to have them.

As I watched the signing continue, I couldn’t get over how amazing it as that all of these girls came out to show their support. It was absolutely incredible. An hour into it, Liam must have signed two hundred autographs, gotten two dozen gifts, three scrapbooks, and a bra. Someone had even given him a Buzz Light Year zip up sweatshirt that he immediately put on and wore for the rest of the signing.

Just as the line began to die down, I took out my copy of the CD and slid the case out of the jacket. Then I took out the booklet out carefully, flipping to the pages for thank you’s. I skimmed over them until I got to Liam’s.

 

_I’d like to thank my beautiful girlfriend, Tricia for picking me up when I’m down and for being a best friend to me whenever I am away from home._

 

His arms slipped around my waist then, and I turned, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

“You’re perfect.” I said to him softly. He kissed my lips. “I love you.”

 

Chapter Twenty Six: 

 

They were all over the map as soon as the album dropped. First it was Los Angeles, then it was to New York, then they were up and down Europe, doing signings and interviews and any promotion you could think of. They went to Spain, France, Italy, Germany, Poland, Sweden, anywhere they could go to promote the album (which had debuted at number one). They went everywhere except America for promotion, but I knew from the internet and from what Liam had told me about their weekends in New York and Los Angeles that they already had quite a fan base there.

After they did promotion, they went on a European tour, ending in Dublin, Ireland and then they went to America to guest star on a television program _iCarly_. That stirred a lot of controversy, especially because their American management wanted Harry to become the front man of the group. The boys were completely against it, and stood their ground so eventually the American exces let the issue drop. Also, they went on a tour with Big Time Rush, then a World Tour, then another European Tour, another album was released, and now, two years later, things were starting to slow down.

It was my twenty first birthday, and I was standing in front of a mirror, looking at a dress Liam had insisted I wore to the party he was throwing me. it was navy blue with a cream colored sash around my waist and it fell to my knees. Liam came out of our bathroom in nothing but a towel and his breath caught.

“Do you like it?” I asked, smiling and turning in a slow circle for him.

“I liked it at the shop.” He said. My face fell. “I love it on you.”

I smiled again, and he walked over to me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. He kissed my lips softly.

“I think we should skip the party and go right to the birthday sex.”

“Naughty boy.” I said with a laugh as I hit his chest. “You made me buy this dress, I want more than one person to see me in it.”

“Fine.” He said with a smile. Then he went to his closet and pulled out a white shirt, a grey vest and trousers, and a navy blue tie. “But that’s coming off the second we get home.”

“Deal.”

 

 We were having the party at a hotel in London. It was in the ball room, and all of my favorite people were going to be there. When we pulled up outside, we were the first ones there. There was only one other car in the car park, and it was the hotel manager. He was in the ball room, dressed up and smiling, and he met us at the door. He took mine and Liam’s coats, and then Liam brought me over to the table where we would be sitting with the boys and their girlfriends. Louis and Eleanor were engaged with a date set for October. Zayn and Leslie were also still going strong, as were Taiylor and Niall. Harry and Aimee had broken up the year before. It had gotten to be too much for them both, and it was making them miserable. Harry only wanted Aimee to be happy, so he thought it was best. Since them he had met Ariana and she was great. They were made for each other.

The first people to come to the party were Zayn and Leslie. They came through the door, and Zayn was carrying a rather large package with a bow on it.

“You need to open this right now.” Zayn said, putting it on the ground carefully. I thought I heard something moving inside it and I got nervous. “I’ve already cleared it with Liam. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, I know what it is.” Liam said with a grin. “Go on, open it, babe. You’ll love it.”

I crouched down and tore at the paper, revealing a crate. Something was whining inside. I looked up at Zayn and he smiled as I pulled the cage grate open and reached inside. My hand hit something fuzzy. I grinned and pulled the fuzzy thing towards me, and I was met with a cold, wet nose in my face.

“You got me a puppy!” I said, grinning and snuggling him in my arms. It was a champagne colored golden retriever with sea green eyes. Like Finnick Odair in the Hunger Games. “I’m going to name him Finnick.” I said, hugging Leslie and Zayn just as Louis and Eleanor walked in.

I smiled and carried my puppy over to meet them, and Louis asked if he could hold him. I handed him over and hugged Eleanor, she and I had become friends after Louis had asked her to marry him. That solidified that he didn’t have feelings for me anymore, and she took it upon herself to be my friend.

“He’s adorable.” Louis said. “My gift won’t top this.” He laughed and put the puppy down on the ground. He immediately began to scout out the room, running over to Liam. He barked and I giggled, his bark was so little.

“I’m sure your gift will be perfect.” I said with a smile. “Shall I open it now?”

“If you want. Or you can put it on the gift table.” He said, flicking his eyes to where Eleanor had gone to put her gift that she had brought me. Leslie had put her box there too.

“I want to open it now.” I said. He smiled and pulled a long, thin, black velvet box out of hi inner pocket. He handed it to me and I flipped open the top. Inside was a sterling silver necklace with a carrot charm.

“I had to find a jeweler who would make a carrot.” He said. “No one wanted to, but finally, while I was visiting mum in Doncaster, I founda jeweler who wanted to take the challenge.”

“It’s perfect.” I said with a smile. I handed it to him and turned so he could clip it on. The weight was comfortable around my neck, and I hugged him. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He said with a smile. Then I turned to the door where Harry and Niall were coming through the doors. They gave their gifts to their girlfriends, so they could hug me, and then they were off to the bar.

 

When the party was in full swing, there were at least one hundred people there, including Liam’s best mate, Andy, and the gift table was over flowing. I didn’t really care, though. I was happy to be surrounded by people that I cared about. I was standing at the bar getting a Coke when I felt Liam’s arms slip around me.

“Can we go for a walk?” he muttered, kissing my shoulder and up my neck. “I want to have you alone for a bit.”

I shivered as his breath hit my ear, and I smiled. Then he took my hand and we walked outside to the courtyard of the hotel. It was a bit chilly outside, and I hadn’t had a jacket. Liam took his off, and put it over my shoulders, and I kissed his lips. He was acting nervous, now. And I wasn’t sure why.

“Are you okay?” I asked him. He nodded, and we sat on a bench. I sat next to him, and he dug around his pocket, producing and envelope, which he handed to me.

“I wanted to give you your present.” He said. “I knew ahead of time that Zayn was going to get you a puppy.” He added as I opened the envelope. “So I got you this.”

In the envelope, there was a paper. It looked like an official document of some sort, and when I read the top, my jaw dropped.

“You got us a house.” I said.

“Yeah.” He said, then I felt something else in the envelope, and I looked inside. There was a ring there, with a diamond in the center, one on either side of the diamond, and two on either side of those diamonds. Seven in total, all set into white gold.

“Oh my god.” I said, my eyes burning. Liam took the ring out of my hand and got down on one knee. “Yes.” I said.

“You haven’t even let me ask the question yet.” He said with a laugh.

“But I gave you my answer.” I said, covering my eyes with my hands so I didn’t start crying.

“Please, let me ask?” he asked.

“Fine.” I said.

“Tricia,” he said, taking my hand and sliding the ring in place on my finger. “We’ve been best friends since we could talk. For most of that time, I was an idiot, and you kept me in check. I grew to love you. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we have gotten through, and now, when you’re not here by my side, I don’t just miss you. I need you. I want to fall asleep with you every night, and see your face every morning when I wake up for the rest of my life. It would be an honor for me to call myself your husband. So, will you please… marry me?”

Tears were falling freely as I nodded my head, and he stood, slipping the ring the rest of the way down my finger and kissing my lips. He picked me up, and spun me around, and Zayn and the boys came running outside. I wiped my eyes as they crashed into us, all of us hugging tightly. In that moment, I knew, that even though we had had our moments of hatred and bitterness towards one another, they were all a part of my family. We had our moments of doubt, and our moments when we had clung to each other as though our lives depended on it. We had laughed, cried, smiled and made so many memories together, and through it all, only one thing was certain.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

Fin.

 


End file.
